Urgh.

Fats. That's all I can say about myself. Have been feasting non stop ever since Christmas and I yet got the urge to go jogging to shed off those extra pounds. Mommy said I'm growing fatter nowadays. sigh.

Stressed.

Had an enjoyable time with Jen and Ying today.. Feasted again with Bester and his family.. Simply love the cheesecake that I baked! =P yummy.. even my brother said so.. WoW.. Keke.. perhaps he was trying to make me happy.

Stressed.

Exams coming up! Pulling up my socks. Gotta go study + jogging.

Holiday mood.

Stressed. Can't seem to be able to find ppl to help out for my committee! Stressed.

Brrr...

Woosh.. it has been raining for the past whole month!! Sigh. Why doesn't it snow instead??? Keke.. and if you ever see snow in Singapore, beware and behold..IT MAY BE JUDGEMENT DAY!! Was telling Jen n Bester that the last day of Earth maybe nearing with so many happenings in the past few years..

Just received my exam timetable.. Advanced and not yet confirmed one. Less than 5mths for us to get prepared for my final lap in university. Sigh. I am getting jittery and scared!!! Was revising through IM and guess what!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE LINE I WAS READING!!! (Capping it to say that I AM IN DEEP SHIT TROUBLE.)

Gosh. I am afraid. I've got FIVE units to tackle.. and I am not at all confident of scoring, errr.. or should I say passing 'em in the first place!!?? I AM IN A ULTIMATE STRESSFUL STATE.

Hee.

Had an enjoyable Christmas this year. Spent much lesser as compared to the year before. Didn't manage to get a pair of shoes for Bester yet as the size doesn't fit him at all!! Will go shoe hunting pretty soon.. =P

Spent the Xmas eve eve eve night chilling out with my sisters.. Jen, Wen, Carinne, Ying, May, Min.. Mel wanted to come but by then we were already heading home.. oops! Manage to catch up with Des too!! Thank you didi for coming all the way to Dover to fetch us home!!! =) Appreciated it lots..Thank you ladies for the pretty and cutie top! Love it!!! Had a chocolate foundae session with Hui and Ting.. Keke.. Guess we had lots of fun yah? Wanted to spend the Christmas eve eve with S4 mates! Sigh.. of all the time that had to happen!!! Sorry S4-ians.. Couldn't make it for da party! I sure had a feast @ Bester's place!! Gotta thank Auntie Maria, Uncle Cogan, Auntie Sally for the treat!! Thank you Auntie Maria and Auntie Sally for the lovely presents!! We all had come to a consensus that we'll not be getting presents for each other.. keke.. but.. it was indeed a surprise for all! =) Thank you dar for getting my favourite retro dress!! Simply love it..

=S I am scared!! Exmas in less than 5 mths time.. Killer bomb ticking away.. Am praying hard that my last paper's schedule will be at least a wk after the other!

STUFFED.

I'll be like a stuffed turkey in no time! Christmas is just round the corner.. Have been feasting ever since Monday! Hahaa.. And now, I'm so full after makaning the tang yuen!

Ah CHOO..

Got a cold from last Friday's rain! Kekee.. Baby Swee took good care of me and tried nursing me back to health.. Thank you Dar dar.. =)

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, didi!!

Frenz.

Had an enjoyable time with Wen and Lavania at the latter's place yesterday! Just like the good old times when we used to hang out at each other's home. Chatted about our past, present and future.. =) We sure had a good laugh at our "historical" moments.. Had butter cookies and Lava made for us banana split! Yummy.. Sigh! Simply miss those days!

We were just teenagers then when knew each other in secondary school. Time sure flies and now we will be turning 22 soon! Keke.. It's kinda scary to grow up and not knowing what we will become in the future! As a kid, the only worries will be whether we perform well academically. As an adult, you have a whole lot more responsibilities to assume. More identities that you'll take up and more things you will need to manage. Be in mentally, emotionally, physically or physiologically.

keke.. Lava has got a puppy, Amster.. =P

Baking addiction.

Argh! Am going to stop myself from baking for the time being. Just realised from last Friday's IM lesson that I'm such a lagger plus loser! Sigh. Haven't been doing any serious studying except for a few subjects. Gonna wake myself up asap before Xmas comes and I'll have the holidaying mood again!

These are the things I've baked so far:
1) Cornflakes cup (daddy, brother, auntie maria, bester.. love this! Hee.. Too buttery for mommy and uncle cogan!)
2) Cheesecake (didi said it was nice! bester said it was too sour! haa.. Forgotten to add in more sugar!)
3) Egg tarts (My most satisfied baking assignment! Bester loves these tarts.. So does my daddy.. too buttery for mommy again! Haa. I love to have my tarts too!!)
4) Jiu Cheng Gao (Ehh.. too sweet! Completely a flop. mommy and daddy said it was a good try.. auntie sally said so too.. bester didn't like the sweetness of it! haa..)
5) Scones (Those I baked were too hard! Haa. But the taste is there.. I love "overnight" scones. daddy said it's not sweet enough!?)
6) Pound cake (didi commented saying it's not nice! =P But I love it.. Daddy said it's too coarse.. Hand mixed leh! Hee.. Too buttery for mommy, yet again! =[ hehe..)

More to come.. Wanna try very much to bake the molten chocolate cake! Yeu Yun.. Will let you try IF it's a success okiE? hehe.. =P

Stay tune.

Wazzup?

Haa. Haven't been blogging for ages. Keke.. It's not really been that long. Erm, just kinda lazy to blog though. =) So here are some updates!

Tried making "jiu cheng gao" last Saturday and it turned out to be quite a disaster! It broke into 3 parts! Haa. Discarded the middle one as it was quite uncooked and slabbed the top and bottom part together! Put too much sugar and it was so so so sweet! Hee. But can at least peel off layer by layer so that was at least something more encouraging? Haa.. Auntie Sally tried and said not bad for beginners lah. Hee. Bester darling said it was "quite nice"! Daddy and mommy said it was nice too.. Kekee..

Didi had his passing out parade on Tuesday! Having a 2 weeks break and will get to know his posting on his birthday! Hee. Wish him all the best in getting into the unit of his dreams! =) Though I can't go to see him standing proud and tall on the parade ground (ehhz.. only 2 tics per soldier so daddy and mommy went only! Was kinda disappointed and upset =[ lah.. ) but I felt so honoured that he had did it good throughout these few months in the camp! Well done didi! =P

So what did I do while my parents were watching the ceremony? Hee. Was studying at Ang Mo Kio library with my sweetheart. Had quiche at this coffeeshop with a cup (packaging like bubble tea) of ice coffee! Dar had bread and eggs too! We then proceed to mug a few hours before deciding that we "must" have our lunch first before we can pour in any information to our brain! Haa. Had the cheapest Japanese food at Central! Yummy breaded scallops! Then we saw this custard puff, and knowing that I love it, Bester bought it for me! Ah!! So sinful!! We had the doughnuts that were bought prior to our study date! Gosh.. Thank goodness didi said he didn't want to have Seoul Garden if not we'll be over-stuffed and not overstarved piglets! Haa. Initially we wanted to visit the AMK's Seoul, but the ambience there sucks! Argh. Not worth the money to have our dinner. Baby Swee decided to have his "fried oyster" and "char kway tiao" while I have my usual "mee chiang kueh"! Hee. "Ah Gu's Mee Chiang Kueh" still the best! Nice peanut filling and aromatic pancakes that they have!

Was determined to wake up early in the morning to go study at NYP's library. Hee. But how can we study with an empty stomach right? Bingo! Breakfast time!! Had our all times favourite "You tiao" dipped in nicely brewed coffee.. Ah.. Baby Swee wanted more food and ordered beancurd and "jiu kueh"! Gosh.. We really know how to enjoy life don't we? Keke. Made our way to NYP and dar dar brought me to a tour around his school before settling down at the library. Keke. We had to check if we need to scan our "cards" before entering any premises! NYP is totally cool.. Much smaller than Ngee Ann though.. =) Had the famous "Niang Dou Foo" at the North Canteen (errr.. Dar brought me to the south and made me walk all da way to NORTH! ah.. ) Ai yo.. it's nicer than the one I tried at NP lor! I had my favourite corn pau too! keke.. While walking back to the library, saw my senior! He's on a 3 mths course before embarking on his new career.. erm.. dunno where! Forgotten to ask him le. Keke. It's a small world. Saw Xiao Shi and another BBSSian (only know she was a few years my junior, a prefect and also from chinese orchestra.) Hee. But none of them recognise me eh except when I called my senior! =P

Bought back mixed grill from the North Canteen.. Dar said I must try it as it's really nice! I simply love their coleslaw! Sweet, fresh and creamy.. Ahhh.. Am missing it right now! Mine, forgotten to mention that we had this Japanese cheese pancake which was SO SO SO nice.. Haa. Simply love cheese! I'm salivating already by just thinking how they had melted the whole piece of cheese in the pancake! Argh.. Ate so much! But it's all worthwhile..

Later in the evening, made my way to meet Ting and Hui for our Korean dinner date! My goodness.. The "ban fan" and stir fry chicken was very nice!! Forced myself to eat and I didn't want the food to go down to waste! I would recommend all to visit this restaurant, Togi, for authentic korean cuisine! Their sides dishes (which I think is compulsory..) are simply yummy! Try their ikan bilis!

Food! More food.. hahaa.. Can guess how much fats I've put on now? Argh..

Went to school for ME lesson without studying for Chapter 5.. Ehh.. Was tested and I didn't know how to answer the 2nd question. Heck. Handed in my answers with only one question answered! Haa. Poor dar waited for me before we headed back home!

Didi wanted to bring the whole family to eat "roasted meat" rice but I decided to give it a miss. Keke. Both dar and I ate curry maggie noodles instead. My didi, daddy and mommy actually brought 2 packets of rice for us! Thank you daddy and mommy and brother! =) They had actually bought from another stall.. The one the my bro intended to eat was already clearing up the stall by the time they went down! =O wah! It's really that good!?? Must really go and try it someday.. Somewhere near Bouna Vista?? Anyone interested? I can ask my bro.. Did I mention that I ate quite a HUGE portion of rice today!? Oh mine, I'm feeling so yucky now!

Took a short nap and had a bowl of "fu zhou" and cuttle balls before we headed back to school again! Ai yo.. Came back home and had steamboat.. Gosh.. I ate so much!! Feeling so bloated and uncomfortable right now! =( Sigh. FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT.. x INFINITY FAT.. aiyo.. I'm SO SO SO FAT!

Didi bought back some stuff from John Little sales at Expo! There are cute cups and xmas door hangers that looked so fabulous! =) And he also bought waterbottles for both Daddy and I! Thank you so much di! Love them all!! keke..

Ah.. Tried making scones.. Was quite a failure. Didn't turn out the way it should be! Perhaps I should just stick to baking egg tarts, cheesecakes.. and MORE cakes coming on the way! Hee..

Swing.

How long does it take a "pendulum" to swing from one end to another!? Well, it really depends. Sometimes it may take hours but in times of PMS-ing, the frequency and the duration taken for the swing will be more and faster! Ha. Mood swings.
Spare me please from all these moody stuff!? Shux. I can be happy for one moment and before you know it, I can become terribly upset. Ha. And I realised that I don't like to talk anymore. My heart talks more than my mouth and many thoughts that just stream into my mind! Studying mode!?
Studies. AHHHHHHHhhhhHhhhhhhHHhhh.. Hee.. What am I doing in the computer room again!?

=)

May bought this girly coin pouch from her trip to Malaysia! Guess what? I am using it as a handphone cover! Put some notes and coins inside and you are all ready to visit the nearby kopitiam for hot coffee and youtiao! Hee.

Spent quite a lot of quality time with Bester yesterday! Hee. We had youtiao dipped in pipping hot coffe for brunch. Forgot to mention that these youtiaos that we bought were huge! Haa. Bigger than usual. We thought maybe the uncle was in a good mood.. =P Lucky us!

Face getting rounder. But heck. I got to focus on my studies right now! Have come up with my studying schedule! Hopefully am able to catch up! Praying hard..

Round.

- Yoga fanatic, Xue Min.
"I am in shape. Round is a shape."

Really love that phrase because that is what I am experiencing now. Have exploded ever since I stopped jogging regularly and started eating like crazy! Mood swings was inevitable as I saw how round my face is! Depressed. Down. What should I do? Sigh! Stop eating!?

Sigh! Started playing with Adobe Photoshop.. =) must thank May for teaching me all the stuff.. HEe.. And my brother who taught me how to use it too!



I want to become slim! Can I?

Love!

Went to watch "Step Up" with Jen dear! Felt so good to be able to catch up with one another again after 3 weeks of not meeting up! Must really thank Jen for recommending this movie! Initially I thought I'm gonna be bored to death cos I've got absolutely no idea what the movie was all about! Hee. The opening of the show made me think I was watching a artistic and more sophiscated kind of movie lor! Haa.. But thank goodness.. It was afterall a romance show but a very meaningful one! Shant say much about it! Ladies and gentlemen, do go and catch this great movie okie!? =)

Egg tarts!

Hehe. Have conquered the challenge of baking egg tarts. First batch of this famous Dim Sum I've made! Tried one out of shape one! Yummy.. Super delicious. Photos will be uploaded tomorrow. Currently too lazy to go down n take some pic! HEe. I want to perfect the art of baking cheesecake!

Hee. Mommy has been complaining that I am baking too much! She wonders if I've been studying. Ehhz.. the answer to her question? NO! Haa. Freaking scared now! Ms Koh is making me more confused about CAPM, capital market line, security market line and the Fisher's 2 fund separation theorem! Gosh! Where's William Tan? I need help in CF!

Here are the pic of the egg tarts!


Great! My brother is back! Haven't seen him for almost 2 weeks! Miss ya! He's not feeling well. Praying that he'll recover soon! He's going to POP lor!!

Huh?

What's wrong with the Singapore's Yahoo search engine!? Wasn't able to load it up! Ehz... Everything in my life has been going downhill! So how tough can it still get? Can't seem to be able to pull myself out of this "depression" mode!

Baking seems pretty interesting and exciting for me nowadays. Hehe. Ever since Jen, May and I started that baking session, my interest in baking has grown tremendously! Would love to try baking all sorts of pastry & cakes! Anyone care to join me?

The next challenge: Egg tarts and Molten Chocolate Cake.


Hee. =)

Sux!

Life sux a big whole time!

Weary.

Extrememly tired after 2 days of the Drill Camp that was held over last weekend. Am very impressed by the girls who had actually being drilled (=P i only teach!) for almost 9 hours! WoW! Gals, well done! Give a pat on your shoulder!

Hee. My face is like lobster. Burnt! Boots are "well baked" under the sun and I'm sure it will be so much easier to polish them the next time round. Found back some long lost friends whom I've gotten to know over the years in GB! =) Yupsie..

Haven't been spending enough time with Bester for the past few days! Brought the charger to charge my almost flat mobile but forgotten to bring the 2 pin plug! Sigh. Couldn't talk to my dar and felt so so uneasy.. Pumpkin, please forgive me for being quiet for this period of time. Sorry!

Am in the school library. Feeling cold and sick! Sigh!

Duh.

Internet is such a powerful tool. Whatever.

When the music fades...

...comes silence. I'm lost in a world of reality. I'll have to face all the obstacles that may be coming in my way in time to come. Running away doesn't help to solve the problems. With my mind filled with only that objective in my life, I am slowly losing all my loved ones, including myself. My studies will suffer and I have to face the music. No one else is going to take pity on me! I've been given many chances to redeem for what bad decisions I've made. Time has come to a standstill. Many things have change but my heck care attitude is still in me. My life is sucky because I made it so. So wake up dumbo and start living in this real world!!! No one can wake you up.. except..

"Life is as such.."

Upside down.

My life is completely screwed up! Notes kept piling. Never seem to be able to finish studying in anyway! Sigh.

Yikes! I've gained another 2kg back!

Supper. Super!

Hee. Never had this feeling for a long time! Yeap! Had BBQ chicken (all 2 of 'em) all by myself! Ate lemon cuttlefish, another favourite of mine! Hee. Had Katong laksa in the afternoon.. durian cake.. Haa.. Ate a lot ah!

Sigh. Woke up this morning feeling so sinful and afraid. School's workload is getting heavier. I am not able to catch up with all my lecturers. Getting more afraid and nervous as the "doom day" gets nearer. Ah. Will I be caught in the situation as what I went through 2 years ago? I am praying hard that it will NEVER happen again!

On a happy note, spent quite some quality time with my di, daddy & mommy! Missing Bester tremendously right now. We won't be meeting tonight. What a day! =) Tired. Nervous. But fruitful.

Green bean sesame ball.. Tang Yuen in ginger soup.. A bit of thosai.. A bit of prata.. One indian doughnut (ehz.. hehee.. dunno what's that called!?) 1 and a half goreng pisang.. corn flakes.. ahh!!! Later will be eating dinner lor!

Dull.

Before I met you, my life is as dull as charcoal.. But with you around, I've been turned into a jewel.. Sparkling just like the precious diamond.. =)

Down.

Umph. I am feeling extremely down! Feeling bloated and fat yet hungry! I have been eating for the past few days without working out. *CRYING*

Mood swings. Upset. Tired. Fustrated.

Menu for the day:
2x mini pancakes
1x soon kueh
2x milo
2x coffee
1x eclair
1x rice + bean sprouts + fish

heee.. Life!

Home Sweet Home.

"Mom + Dad, I'm home!"
Hehe.. Didi will be coming home this Saturday! Haven't seen him for almost a week or so! Hehe.. But get to use his lappie though! Sigh. Last Monday was the most unconstructive day of year 2006! At least that is how I felt.. Wanted to go home after MSM lecture to get my POA notes for baby Syl and IM notes for revision while waiting for him to be back from work. Oh well, skies looked gloomy and true enough it rained barely 5 mins after I came out of the LT!
Stayed in the library for the whole 2 hours after finished doing half of my ME assignment! Had a nice lunch + dinner with Bester.. Ta bao food from Megabites.. Yummy pizza and tasty fries.. Jap bento was great! =) Hee. Fats. Argh.
Sigh. Promised myself that I will go do what I should do (eg. to revise for my IM and CF..) in 2 mins time! Life is as such...
I don't want to grow up! Ha. Silly me. I know that won't be possible. Whatever. I missed the growing up process! Have enjoyed myself for the past 20 years. Time passes especially fast when you are enjoying yourself, isn't it?
Gosh! It's 10.30am and I'm still here typing away! Ehz.. I need a break!

Say CHEESE!

Had an awesome day @ May's place, baking our most favourite, cheesecake! Yummy.. It was simply delicious! Ahh.. BAKED not CHILLED okie! Hee.. All thanks to our shi fu, May! If not Jenny and I will have got no idea how to go about baking a tasty cheesecake wor!

. Jen + May!

. May + Me! Don't we look like sisters, yeah?

. The cheesecake!

. A old photo that we took when were in secondary school then!

Rest.

Never had this feeling for a long time. The smell of the air is so familiar. The sun rays shining into my room, waking up late in the morning, me watching TV with my mom in the kitchen and my dad in the garden.. Even Lucky is sleeping soundly beside the sofa! =)

Better do some revision before the time is being wasted away! It is noon already! A few more hours I will be going out again! =) To meet up with my baby whom I haven't met for a day! =P

Hee.

Yawn :0
Mixed feelings. Confused thoughts. Felt so much wanted to be in control of my life but seems like things doesn't always go smoothly in my way! Be it in my personal plans or studies, there must be some kind of distractions and temptations "lurking" somewhere, threatening to spoil them all.
Sigh. Empty promises. Self denial. Obessesion. Procrastination. Some words to describe a fraction of my feelings right now!
Weather is good. Gloomy skies, wind keeps blowing.. A good day ahead!? I doubt so with the lecture that I will be attending later. Completely lost and "drowned" in the pool of words and equations! Alrite. Enuff of my ranting. Shall stop here and START USING MY BRAIN FOR MORE CONSTRUCTIVE ACTIVITIES!
Revising for my 5 modules are activities on the critical path as planned in the Operational Research project. Any delay to the activities' completion time will cause the project to be totally delayed! Objective of the OR project: To get the paper used as a "passport" to gain entry into LARGE MNCs. Ha. I must be dreaming!
Whatever.

Yum Chia.

Yum Chia = Dim Sum.

Haa.. Daddy, mommmy, didi, bester and I woke up considerably quite early this morning! Wanted to bring my brother to try the "Casuarina Curry" banana prata and the cheese prata..Being health conscious, daddy suggested dim sum instead of cosuming the oil stuff. Didi then drove us all to Toa Payoh - Xin Fu Yum Chia Restaurant.. Haa.. LONG QUEUE. Turned us off immediately and didi remembered that there is another restaurant that the tv had advertised before.

Yum Chia Resaturant @ Chinatown area! Saw the famous stall that sells that the most tasty dessert! Anyway.. Didi gave us a treat and I must say all of us enjoyed the food!! Yummy! We orderd a lot of things! Didi knew I love xiao long bao.. Ordered 2 "long" of that.. as well as the siew mai! The congee there is so silky and smooth! Hee.. Ah! Simply love the dim sum treat! Thank you brother! =) Not cheap wor!

Made a trip to westmall.. to Paws & Furs.. Saw where is Cake Avenue!

Didi booked in le! Bester and I had a nice supper treat from my parents! Yummy.. Satay.. Oyster omelette.. Sugar cane juice.. and... tangyuen with peanut soup!

Burp! Ate too much le! Gain back all the weight le lor!

=)

Feel so comforted with so many good friends and buddies around me! =)

Urgency.

Sense of urgency. Have I totally lost it or what!? What have I been up to recently during the weekends!? Should be studying and mugging the whole day and not wasting my day by sleeping, makaning and using the internet! Shux! I forsee myself not excelling for my one and only final year exams!

Wake up! I got to clear my mind with all the shitty dieting stuff and start mugging from now onwards! Yes! There isn't any shortcut to getting good grades but to start studying and revising right now(It's t = 0 where t stands for time!)! Whatever..

Have been thinking through a lot for the past few days. Don't create unnecessarily problems that doesn't even exist in the first place!!! That is what I should do!

Life is as such.. No degree, no stepping stone into good companies.. No stepping stone, how on earth how are you going to show your "execellent" productivity to your boss? How are you going to climb up the ladder in the corporate world!?

So Jasmine, wake up your silly "shortcut" ideas and start using my brains and muscles now!

What on earth am I typing!? Whatever!?

Sick.

Yikes. Sigh.

Yikes!

Sigh.

Blog.

Wanna type something meaningful. But I can't bring myself to type it out! =) Muahahaa.. Okie! Shall cut out the crap alrite!? Here goes..

"...Life is as such.."

Hahaa.. Feel like bashing me up!? Come on!

Life simply sux!

Life sux when I just kept eating non stop and ended up gaining back all those extra kilos that I have shed for the past 2 months! Argh. I want to lose weight! I can't stand the sight of myself now. Looking at how friend around me are dieting now kinda makes me motivated again! I want to get rid of you fats.

Nothing happen in particular that I want to blog about.

Brother booked out and booked in. He is having a cough and perhaps an itchy throat. Please do pray for him. Worrying for him right now! No idea if his leg has made a recovery yet! Sigh.

School is totally uncool! Can't catch up with the pace of the lecturers as I have been slacking for the past whole month! =( What's happening to me!? Sometimes halfway through the lecture I really felt like crying!

Today is 15th Oct. =) Happy 27mth of togetherness, Bester!

Life sux when I am fat.

Vivo!?

Vivo City was officially opened on 7th October!

Took bus 963 from our house and headed towards the megamall. =) Mind you, it was quite late in the morning. Bester and I had only a piece of bread each before leaving. Imgaine how loud our stomach(s) were grumbling by the time we were strolling in the "forest". We were nearly lost! It was so huge and we didn't know where we were in the mall! As if it wasn't bad enough, we noticed that most shops haven't finished their renovations and aren't opened yet! We sure were very hungry then and the eating outlets weren't opened except Sushi Tei, Hagen Daz and Carl's Junior!? Oh my gosh! I was fuming mad! Quickly made our way to HabourFront Center to have a quick meal at Pastamania before watching "Stay Alive" @ GoldenVillage Vivocity.

(Bester, I am sorry for all the nonsense, yet again. Sorry!!!!!)

Was hesitating whether to buy popcorns or not and I was glad that I did! Dar was so sweet to give me the movie treat as well as the popcorn! Yummy. Sweet tasting popcorns that melts in my mouth. Haa. I got more than that! For those who have know me long and well enough, I would have told you about the half false front tooth that I have!? Hee. It dropped yesterday before the movie started!!!! Haa. I was eating popcorn when I realised it was gone! Darling had a good laugh and found me to be very cute. I didn't dare to laugh as my smile is quite.. erm!? Anyway, at that point of time, I weren't afraid. In fact, I felt calm as I knew pumpkin would take care of me. I trusted him wholly. He's the one. =P I'm sure!

Went to Ang Mo Kio Ave Dental Clinic. The dentist was good. Hee. Anyway, had my tooth filled back! Going to smile all I can!

One last thing, I love you sweetie pie!

New lease of life.

Had a good talk with Bester last night. The whole conversation was basically on the topic of my "diet obsession"! Whenever I typed that phrase, I didn't think that I was actually obsessed with being slim and everything. However, for the past few months, I didn't realise that I've become less bubbly and joyful as compared to before. My whole focus was only on BEING SLIMMER. Recently, Bester's plea was for me to love him more! I thought I had always showed him caer and concern?! I didn't "wake up" until last night when he told me that he is CONSTANTLY living in fear as my actions and behaviour doesn't show my love for him! That really jolted be back to the reality!

People for the past 2 months have been telling me that I have slimmed down too much, or being to skinny, etc.. Sure, I was slim then! I didn't care what they said! Cos I kinda like it when I was maintaing that weight! But it really affected my health badly that I am getting the fear of being anorexic! I didn't even want to eat but kept telling myself that I will skip meals and not consume anything but ended eating up more than I require! Binge. Now, that really makes me fat!

The person who suffered the most, Bester! He's always there to tolerate with all my dieting nonsense but never seems to give up on me once! I am really touched by all his little actions. He constantly reminded me to take proper meals and not because I want to have a hot body then go on dieting! He loves me just the way I am, be it now or in the past! =) So sweet of him! I realli want to make up to him for the past 2 mths that he had suffered! Dar, give me a chance! Please?

Scare.

Yesterday, I've gotten a scare of my life! Was discussing something with Bester and realised that he had suffered so much, in silence. We were talking about the past and how we have actually grown so much, being together, for the past 2 years. Keeping my fingers cross, praying really hard, that everything will goes on smoothly as it is now, till we tie the knot and being recognised as one in the eyes of God!

*BURPED* Sorry! Had bor bor char char for lunch! Especially whipped out by the master chef, my daddy!

Feud.

Didn't feel well on Mon. Fighting with the germs within me!

Seems to have this battle with fats as well. Will it eventually win over me? Argh. On dieting mode again. Hee.

Another war I am fighting now, studies! SIAN!!

Hectic.

School is driving me crazy at the moment! Hectic weekends.
Sherine's 21st bday party. She is a princess, just like the one in a fairytale. =)
Photos taken using Jen's camera! heee..

.Quan jia fu!

.Me @ MOS burger! Prelude pic!

.Me taken before setting off!

Today is my best pal's 21st birthday! Planned a surprise birthday party for her! Brought her to do hair colouring @ Kelture. Ta-da~! Her new look! So sweet looking..

Guardian Angel.

.Sylvester Johannes Swee
.guardian angel of Jamine Lee

God was so good to me that He has brought the most adorable and cutest guy into my life. A listener and confidate, he never fails to understand what I have been going through. Sometimes, my mood swings can make me erupt like a volcano but he never seems to throw his temper back at me. Where can I find another guy who can tolerate with all my nonsense!? No one else can take away that special place he has in my heart. No one else can make me fall in love with him so truely, deeply and madly except him.

God, if You allow, please let me grow together with Bester, be in physically, mentally and spiritually! Love ya, pumpkin swee. =P

Bleahz.

It's first time that both dar and I went for blood donation! Yup! It's so cool.. heee.. we're "saving" lives! Haa. And it's Bester's first time to give blood as well. So brave of him! =) *clap clap* He got a "No Chicken" certificate from the blood bank! So cool.. No such things when I went for blood donation for the first time and that was like years ago!

Mobile phone craze. A phone that I can't wait to lay my hands on. Hee. - Sony Ecrisson Z610i

Another gadget that I'm thinking of getting. My old one is going to fall apart into pieces pretty soon. Hee. Pink! Ah! Beginning to resemble somone le! Candice ah, don't bash me okie? - Sony CyberShot DSC-T10

Any kind souls out there? Christmas is nearing! =P

Sushi making.

.chief chef: Sylvester san
.assistant chef: Jasmine san
delicacy: sushi

Hike. We made delicious sushi. Here are the ingredients we bought back from Shop and Save early in the morning. Hee. Okie lah. Not exactly that early but comparing to the past, we had certainly woke up much earlier le! Had a sumptous breakfast at Bengawan Solo. Ordered pisang kueh, jiu cheng gao, tau sah pau and sponge cake from Pau Dian. Not forgetting the thick aroma from the coffee that never fails to perk us up!

.Ingredients!

.Chief chef writing down his secret recipe! Hee.

.Secret to making great tamago!

. Chef in action!

.Our creation!

Hee. Will be making tangyuen in a while!

Long wait.

2 weeks ago, on this day, I blogged about my brother. =) And now HE IS BACK HOME! Nearly cried when telling my mom that di messaged me saying "Should be on time! See you all at pasir ris!" Ah! Hee. Glad to see my brother! I waited eagerly at the bus stop and saw all the "ah bing ge" unloading em'selves off the bus! Then saw my brother smiling and coming down from the bus wor! My good old little brother. He has grown up le!

But feel kinda worried for him. He hurt his leg, specifically his hip.. erm.. also dunno how I can describe that area. Daddy will be bringing him to see a "tui na" tml. Hee..

My brother shared lots of interesting stuff with us! And the whole family is talking a lot more than ever. Simply love that feeling. But still it is incomplete. My dar isn't with us as he has got night lessons. Miss him!

My Room.

.interior designer: Sylvester Swee
.room owner: Jasmine Lee
.criteria: Walk in wardrobe, simplicity, get rid of clutteredness.

I am proud to say, that my dar dar has done it again! My room feels so comfy that I didn't want get out of the bed! Usually I am the earlier bird but this morning, dear actually woke up before me! =)

Bought a floor lamp, a computer chair and some other stuff. With some moving of the furniture here and there, woala!, I've the most comfy room (well, in my opinion though!) in the whole wide world! Of course, dar's room is another room that I love too!

Thank you so much dear!

Sitting by the window, hearing the laughter of the kids, enjoying the sun rays and the cooling wind..

-enjoying life! [Like wat dar told me this morning.. =)]

Excited.

Hehe. It's wee morning and I simply can't coax myself to sleep. Counting sheeps doesn't work for me! =( Sigh. Must be worried about my food intake for the past few days. I'm eating like a lion. Heh. What to do? PMS-ing! Needs calories to perk me up! Sigh. Hee.

On a happy note, I have started, seriously, reading up and practising on my school work! Yeap! 3 cheers for Jasmine!? Will I be able to create another miracle? With God's grace and wisdom, I pray hard that I will be able to get at least a 2nd upper class honors! That is my main goal for now!

So exciting!!! After such a long wait, which is only like 4 mths, I will be revamping my room. The messy and smelly pig sty will be come gone! And here comes a new zen-feel room to brighten up my day! =) Wondering what I can buy for such a tight budget like mine! But I hope I will be able to make a change, a big one that is, to make my room totally different from what it seems to be!

Heh. Perhaps I should use the decision tree to help me make the most effective decisions!? Hee. Ignore me! I'm getting ga-ga over school stuff. Stressed.

Wasted.

Alrite! I was supposed to be studying and reading through my notes and not sititng in front of the computer typing away! But I couldn't help it! Hee. So here I am right now updating my blog and chatting with my best buddy, wen! Miss her man! Haven been hanging out with her for donkey weeks le! Argh.

Ate a lot yesterday! =) PMS!

Missing dar lots. Wonder what is he doingn now!

Tan.

Haa. I got more than a tan. Burnt is the word that best describes my whole body now! Yeah. Look exactly like a roasted pig! So for those who didn't know how a roasted suckling pig looks like, can always ask for my autograph, comes with my complimentry pic!

[*BURP* (Am super full now! Ate mooncake in the morning, had milo, biscuits, tangyuen, mee rebus, kway tiao tng, half tau sah pia.. Haha.. yet to have dinner! Shux! There goes all my dieting again!)]

Hee. Went suntanning with Jen, Ying, Carinne, May, Min yesterday at Sentosa yesterday! That was like donkey years since we all last went out together! Saw quite Wahidah and Sharleen yesterday at Harbourfront area too! =) It's great to see good old friends after such a long time of not meeting up!

Reached there at about 10 plus!? Haa. Yeah. We met at 9am! Haa. But the morning sun is actually better in a sense that the rays aren't as harmful as compared to those in the noon. Hee. Found a comfy spot and we were all set to enjoy ourselves thoroughly! Played Frisbee and Captain's ball! Haa.. Speaking of the ball game, it kinda reminds me how we used to play during PE lessons back in secondary school then! Haa.. Imagine a bunch of girls chasing after a ball, tossing it here and there! Haa. Sceamings and laughter could be heard. Oh my, what a scene huh? Hehee..

[*Jasmine is rubbing her eyes* Yes! I am feeling sleepy. Supposed to be studying and not blogging right now!]

Hehe.. Anyway, when we were walking towards the bus stop, we were stopped by the same group of guys who had borrowed the ball from us earlier. They wanted to know Min.. and Ying too. They quite thick skin lah! Cos kenna rejected but still so persistent in getting their numbers!

We then board a bus from Harbourfront to Orchard. Hee. Had fun just walking around with 'em! Hee. Desmond came to join us and he and May need to exchange presents! Hee. Took a seat at Gelare as we were all tired from our suntanning session!

Left the group at about 4.45pm and headed towards PS with Min. She waited for Yibin to go home while I met up Sylvester who had already off work! Hee. Both of the guys are actually working at Starhub! Hee. What a coincidence huh? Went Taka with my hubby-to-be. Hee. Tasted lots of mooncakes before deciding on getting Ritz Carlton traditional mooncake for both of our families! The mooncakes really like melts in your mouth! During our tour in the fair, our song "Gu Dan Bei Ban Qiu" was played! I was excited but didn't show it to Bester. Hee. Bester bought an extra Snowskin mooncake from Ritz and he then gave me a milkshake treat from MOS. Awww.. Felt so contended again! =) Seated and having a chat.. with the milkshakes.. Makes me feel so loved by him! Seems like we just got to know each other!

*BURP* Shux! =)

FUN!

Haha. The caps lock "FUN" said it all!!! After waiting for a period of 3mths, Bester and I finally got to sing K-Box and go dating! Haa. It seems like a Friday night when I was typing the previous entry before this! Was so excited when I woke up this morning as both Bester and I have got absolutely nothing to do for the day! Haa. Bester felt a bit tired so I let him slept abit later till late morning!

Bester has been stressed out over his work, colleagues and school! Hope that we'll able to enjoy ourselves more often, like how we did today! Simply love him to the max! Oopz. Hee..

Jen.

Introducing to you to one of the chio bu(s) in our gang of 5, Jenny!!!!! She's a babe!!!! Hot one that is! Hehe.. Has transformed into a big beauty le! Don't believe? Let me upload a "before" picture!



See!!! How much she has changed from then till now!!! Ah.. heee...

Really had a great time with Jen yesterday! We were just shopping around orchard area and lots of fond memories flow back to my mind! Those were the days when we used to hang out at west side shopping malls.. or MacDonalds that are near to our school! Hee.. Got caught once by our school Chemistry teacher while shopping at Westmall during examination period! Haa. We had a good laugh talking about our past yesterday!

Hey gal, thank you for your support and true frienship for the past 8 years! Really appreciate those times that we've been there for each other, through our ups and downs! If you don't mind, my arm will always be there for you to hold on! Till the day, we all are old..

To Jen, Wen, Ying, Carinne.. Buddies 4 eva!

To Hui, Juan, Ting.. Pals 4 eva!

Slow.

Ha. Time seems to be passing very slowly. Was watching TV at my brother's sleeping area then in and out of my room I went. Ha. Kept looking at the clock and the time is like ticking one hour at a time! Yeah. That's how slow the time seems to be passing right now. Ha. I am getting on my nerves. I am feeling sinful because of the amount of food I have consumed for the past few days. I am angry at myself for throwing temper at Bester and making him feel upset. He is already so fustrated over juggling between work and studies and the inconsiderate me have to add on to his burden?

Sigh. Am using my brother's Apple laptop. Have got no idea how it works but got to switch it on once in a while. Am charging the lappie so that he can use it once he book out next next thurs! Coming soon.

My room is still in a mess. Promised Bester that I will tidy it up today. Yes, I will do it! Procrastination. Hee. Yup. Later is the word.

Hmm, the scent of the air. Makes me miss my brother even more! Hee.

=) TODAY.

That's me! =) Hehe..

Aww... isn't she a lovely and cutie baby!?? My cousin Jasmine's baby daughter..Her name is An Qi! Such a sweet name! Went to see the baby after a much long wait (as I was working in that *toot* place!) Hehe... Took off (on my last day) to see this cutie pie! Haaa... She's so hyperactive. Kept waving her hands and kicking her legs juz now! ah kim and ah gu told my mommy and me lots of stories about her! Hee.. Time seems to be passing quite fast!

Still remember we were still young kids then. Always hanging out at Ah ma's place or tonning over at each other's house! Hee.. And now, we are all grown up kids. Cousin Jasmine's brother is out of NS and has been working for quite some time. My brother is now serving the nation.. Same goes to another cousin of ours whom we used to play with!

Taken this while I was on the train back home with my mommy! Cool huh? Haha... Yeah.. live to be your best and try to excel in whatever you do!

Hurts my heart to see dar dar slogging his heart out for his studies! He's doing extended OT meaning another 2 more hours of OT added on to his normal OT hours! I am praying that he can remain strong with God's strength and grace! Dar, I know you can make it!

Am now waiting for my di's call! Can't wait to see hear him on the phone!

Am overeating whenever I am out with my mom! HELP!!! Hahaa.. Gonna go for a long job tomorrow morning and afternoon!!!

2242hrs: My brother msg saying that he's good! Hee.. M i being too naggy!? Perhaps I should juz let go!

Cakes.

Argh! My calorie intake has been high for the past few days. No doubt I had gained back those fats again! Hee.. But here are some cakes from Secret Recipe which I would like to recommend..
- Chocolate Banana. Tried this!!! Super yummy...

- White Chocolate Macadmia. This looks tempting! Yet to try but would love to eat it one day!

I am still missing him, my brother!

Missing him, my BROTHER!

Today is the day. The day he pledged himself to protect this small island we are on. The day that will change him into a soilder. It should be a joyous day because my di is going to be transformed into a real man! Somehow, those tears just got me and I started crying when I was on the bus, on our way to Tekong. I held back the tears but not for long and I started crying when we had our lunch at the cookhouse.

Although I don't spend much time with my brother, like hanging out with him or things like that, we are still very bonded in a very special way. Siblings, we will always be! He will always be my small brother who used to follow me when we were still toddlers. He will always be there to advise me on things when we get older. He always be there to help me when I am in trouble. He will share all those exciting experiences he has for his photoshoot sessions and also those chilling out places he has been to. Although he didn't show his care explicitly but I know he cares for me and the family. Though I never say it out, but I really want to tell him that I miss him a lot! Not only me, mommy cried when she got home! Think daddy is missing him right now too..

I am worried that he is not able to adapt so fast to army life. I am worried that he is not able to befriend more buddies there because he is the introvert sort. I am worried that he cannot take care of himself. I am worried that he is homesick. I am worried that he will suppress his feelings in him.

I really miss my di a lot now! I just can't wait for the day that he can book out!

10.50pm: My brother called juz now!! Toked to him and get to know that he is settling well with his bunk mates! Sigh of relief to hear that piece of good news! Mommy's eyes were red after answering my di's phone call! She must have missed him even more than me! Wondering if he can sleep tonite! May the good Lord bless my brother always!

Am sad to see my dar dar so stressed up!

Words hard to express.

[Wanna noe what kind of animal I am!? Read on!!!]
Danger Mouse
You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

Haa.. cool huh!? It's quite accurate! I will call my mom every now and then to inform her of my whereabouts. Don't want to let them worry about me. =) They have been worrying about me for the past 21 years and that is bad enough!

I really would love to thank all my friends who have supported me all these while, thru my exams period. They are Jen, Wen, Carinne, Ying, Ping Hui, Ting, Juan, Yan Ling, May, Xue Ming, Ying Qiu, Pei Hong, Candice, Jing, Sharon, Fang Yuan, Angeline and lots more.. These are the people who have given me words of encouragement! Of course not forgetting my drill committee buddies who helped to cover for my duties when I am away for classes or tests! Thank you so much all..

Want to thank Hui, my best pal cum school-class-mate for the past 8 years or so! She never fails to pull me along when I am lagging behing and always there to cheer me on whenever I feel low and down. Gal, jia you! We know we can make it, till the end!

Want to thank especially Jenny, my bestest buddy, who never fails to be there to share with me, my joy and woes.. who is always there to lend me a listening ear.. who is always so sweet to send me a msg to ask how I am.. Thank you for being my special buddy gal..

Would like to thank Sylvester's family, especially his mom, dad and tua yee! Thank you all for taking care of me whenever I drop by your house! Would apologise for any inconveniences that I have caused whenever I stayed over. Unlce, thank you so much for the yummy food that you always prepared and also for all the meals that you've treated us! Auntie, thank you so much for lending me a listening ear and willing to share with me your stress and worries! Tua yee, thank you so much for sharing with me about your life! Learnt a lot from you!!

Of course, I would love to thank Sylvester, my hubby-to-be! He has sufferered and endured a lot during this past year! 这一年来，我因要考到好成绩，似乎忽略了他。但我那温柔体贴的老公并没有一丝埋怨，反而还在我的身边鼓励我，给与我很大的推动力。我在此想感谢他者几年来对我无微不至的照顾。He is the best man (besides my Father in heaven, my dad and brother, Uncle Cogan..) that I can ever find on this Earth. Though I always pull a long face whenever I feel depressed or juz being tired. No matter how tiring it is, he will still want to make me feel happy and loved again! He's so caring that he never fails to understand and know the feelings that I am experiencing! I am so thankful that God has brought us together. Who can find someone with so many similarities and have similiar faces? 老公我直想对你说，＂我爱你！＂

Would like to thank my parents who have always been supporting financially! They help not only to finance my studies, but also gave me so much moral support and taught me to whom I have become today! They have instill in me good morals and values that I would always remember and will pass it to my own children one day. Though they may not express their love by hugging or throught those lovely dovey actions, they do it in other ways that most kids would think that their parents are just plain naggy people! Thank you mommy for all the delicious dishes you have whipped out for the family! Thank you daddy for always helping me out whenever I have a problem. Also would like to thank my brother who has been morally supporting me for the past 2o years together! Though he never explicitly tell me that he cares for me, but those small actions and things that he has done for me has made me very touched. He has become a grown-up man! No longer the small boy whom I once knew! =). Would like to thank Lucky as well for never fails to cheer me up whenever I am with her!

God is good, all the time! Would love to thank God for giving me a chance to trust and have faith in Him. Thank Him for answering every of my prayer requests! Thank Him for always blessing me with loving friends, pals, buddies, family, love ones.. Thank Him for giving me such a wonderful life!

Grateful. Thankful. Blissful.

Butterflies. They flew out of my stomach. Happiness, success.. filled me!

Grace, Wisdom.. He gave me all! He heard my prayers and gave me what I derserved!

Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, I've passed my exams!

Butterflies.

Ah! They are all flying around in my stomach! Ants crawling on the hot pot!? Ha. Sorry if you don't understand. Hee. It is a direct translation! I am getting my results soon. Wonder if I will be able to pass all and move on! Sigh. Sian!

Had a great time with Jen, Ying, Carinne, Wen today! Went to makan Ramen Ramen! It has been donkey weeks since we the 5 of us actually got together! Sisters forever, yeah!? Hee.. Had fun with you ladies this evening and hope we'll hang out more often after my sch reopens k? Hugz!

Had Baileys' gelato a week ago @ PS! It was super yummy! Not because it was actually the first time I tried it, but the reason behind the sweetness and joy of eating it is due to the person who had actually ate with me! He's none other but my most beloved husband-to-be! =) We really have got telepathy. Don't believe? Try us! =)

"I am glad that I'm Christopher Lee because I am parent's son. They gave me life and I must make the best use of it."
-Christopher Lee

All that I am.

Phew. Was so busy yesterday! Mom fell ill.. She had a toothache and I brought her to see a dentist as well! Think that pain was so unbearable that mommy has no choice but got to visit the most terrifying place of all in this planet! My heart aches to see my mom suffering like this! Got Yawling (thank you so much!) to help me stand in for the P&D rehearsal. Wanted to take good care of my mom while I still can. No one knows what is going to happen the next moment? I may get hit by a car then "poof", I'm gone! Treasure every minute and second you have with your love ones..

All that I am, all that I have...
I lay them down before you, oh Lord..

=) God has been good to me! He has answered every of my prayer request, keeping my family safe and sound. Prayed for all my friends as well and they are leading a fruitful and meaningful life.. Thank you Father!

Haa. There have been comments made about me recently. Something which I would like to share with everyone.. It's relatively easy to lose weight if you have got the determination and discipline to abstain from all those yummy food (which are usually high in calories and fats!). Eating right is important. If you are hungry, why not replace those tidbits with fruits and healthy snacks instead? Drink enough water, about 8 glasses per day! Eat 2 servings of fruits and vegetables. Have a good breakfast! Go for a jog if you can afford that time, say on your rest days or something? Walk from the MRT station and skip those comfy bus journies..

Here comes the more difficult part! Maintaining the "ideal" (wonder what it's bracketed? Haa.. Cos women are never satisfied with their weight! That goes the same for me!) weight is another tiring and stringent task that one has to accomplish. Hee.. Don't think you have lost weight and you can start eating anything you want again! Cos that will make you even fatter than before! Yup! Hee..

To put it simply - Losing weight is easy.. Maintaining it is hard! It requries lots of mental power to do so!

Sigh! So will I be able to maintain it? I doubt so. Muahahaa..

HOT!

AHHHHH.. I simply can't stand the heat!! It's so steamy hot in my room! Shux! I better have a good cold bath. Tata~!

Cyber abuse.

Was reading this news article on the Straits Times today and can relate so much to it. Flaming, making derogatory comments. Ha. I confessed I had done it before. I was fuming mad at that point of time as that girl had done something extrememly upsetting to my bestest buddy! I couldn't curb that anger and started tagging in her blog! Ha, but that hideous couple most deserved it! Sigh. Well..

Sigh.. Life is as such.. Nothing much to look forward to. I also had a taste of my own medicine. People used psedounym and false persona and spammed my tagboard, typing string of letters which I could only decode some parts. Silly me! I actually went to try to make some sense out of it! Ha. I was so free at work then that I had got really nothing better to do! Oh well. To side track a bit, my work assignment is ending soon! Horray! Miss school so much and much and much and.. erm.. Haa.. K.. Shall spare you alright?

Actually indifference makes a difference. Next time, if anyone hurls insults on you but has kept his anonyminity, ignore! Doesn't matter who they are or what they say.. Life is short! Enjoy while you can.. Selective hearing helps a lot! =)

嘿!

Saw some unknown symbols and have no idea what I am typing!? Ha. Cos it's in chinese! Kindly use a language converter if you want to know what it is about!

意想不到吧？我竟然会用华文来打出这一份ｅｎｔｒｙ！不过有时候还是会用英文来ｂｌｏｇ　ｗｏｒ！　
时间过得可真是快。转眼间我即将要回访校园了。那种心情是你所想像不到的！真得好想会去读书！

Okie! I give up! Haa.. I really suck at Chinese language! Wonder how I ever managed to score a A2 back in Secondary school days! Sigh. Hee..

God has been good to me! Am blessed by Him. Thank you Lord!

Oh I simply adore this blogskin! Hee. Butterflies. Dark. Sexy baby. Oopz. Haa..

Countless.

A lot of times, I've been feeling down and depressed. No one seems to know what is bugging me. Not even my confidate, Bester, whom I always share my life happenings with. No one knows as I don't share. Feeling doown, drilling right through to the deep soil of the Earth.

Thoughts running through my mind as I took my usual jog route. Have been thinking about my future plans that will kind of determine the life I am going to lead for my next LIFE chapter. Sigh. Feel so meaningless to always have to conform to the worldly views and thoughts. I should live the life I want! I want it badly. I need freedom. I need to breathe. Give me a break.

Exam results is going to be released soon. Will I be able to make it through the next and last lap of my uni life? Stay tuned to find out!

Meanwhile, would like to take this opporunity to apologise to my dar. Sorry for the highs and lows. I am hitting the bottom of the wave right now.

Laggard.

Ha. That is a Marketing term. Used to describe new product adopters who are always the last to try out "new products". "New" doesn't necessarily mean "NEW" but refers to something which the person has never tried before. Erm.. Ignore me if you can't get what I am saying! I miss school terribly and can't wait to start mugging again! And this time round, I won't even make a sound about how tough schooling is because it is definitely much easier than slogging in the society.

I am losing my passion. My confidence. Is it that I have done a lousy job that no one trust in me anymore? I am afraid that one day, I will not be serving Him in any ways. The reason that I still stayed on was because I want to give back a little to that much He has given for me.

Have so much to blog. So much that I want to share with all my friends. =) Lots of emotions that I felt. Especially after catching "Click" last night with Bester hubby... I feel that I haven't done enough for my family. All those "what if.." scenes have actually flashed through my mind, and I have even cried, fearing that one day.. I will not be able to see my parents again..

Friends out there.. do treasure all your love ones.. Not only your family members but also your close friends.. Don't treat anyone like an enemy but love them like your neighbour.. Don't set your goals as just about the earthly pleasures.. Think far and make your life meaningful in whatever ways you can.

I really hope to say this to you in person.. Hang on! You can do it..

Shattered. You have broken her heart.

Sigh.

400th.

Yup! Tat is the number of entries for my blog! Congrats! Haa.. Duh! Dumb.

As you all can see, well unless you care no less about my blog, I have changed my blogskin! Yeah. Hee.. Am trying to improve on it but can't seem to find the correct codes to make it into something which I LOVE! Hee.. It's alright. Am trying to find nicer ones.

Sigh. Weekend has ended. Back to work.

Time flies...

It's the time of the year again! Yeah! It's our nation's 41st birthday!!! Happy Birthday, Singapore! Sigh. Missed NDP days when I had so much fun with my girls at the parades... Miss ya too Amanda mei.. And so many of you whom I've gotten to know from the contingent!

I was the actual contingent commander in Year 2004.. And that was the time I just got to know Sylvester and we had started our relationship a month ago.. And now, we've been together for 2 years plus and I really enjoyed my days with him! He never fails to cheer me up.. He's my sunshine..

Recently, God has spoken so much to me. He has also helped me a lot! Really love the Lord and am amazed at how He works in my life. His plan for me, I've yet to know. Whether I should go back is another big question mark (?).

Right now, my ultimate target would be on my First Class Honors Degree and get myself a job. Would want to let my parents lead a carefree life and not to worry about financial issues again! =) I can support the family and be the sole breadwinner.

Had a great time with my didi and daddy and mommy last Wednesday! Went Bedok to have "Bar Chor Mee". Yummy! And the satay tasted so good that I just can't help to stop munching. Sigh. That goes my diet routine. Haa. But the main thing is I had spent quality time with my family members which I hope to have at least a few times a week in the many more years to come!

Jen, Ying and Sherine are back from Bangkok! Dear Jen has bought a top, belt and a pair of shoes for me! Thank you so much buddy! Just what I needed especially school is going to reopen in another month's time! Hee.. Heard from Jen that they had actually met Ms Ngiam at Bangkok Airpot on they journey back to Singapore and they are boarding the same flight! A small world isn't it? Hee..

It's a world of laughter.. A world of fears...

I fear no one but the Almighty one..

Fainted.

Oh my gosh! Haha.. What I wrote in the previous blog was to comment on the reality of today's world! I would like to reassure everyone that I have never done any modifications to myself. My nose was already crooked when I was born and I didn't realise it until Bester told me about it! Hee.. I am who I am. Everything is real okie? Want to do a check? Haa. Syl won't allow you touch me though!

Working life is really sucky. I don't know how I can survive for another 1 month! But everything has been going quite smoothly for me. Argh. A tingling sensation. Butterflies in my stomach. Ha. Exam results going to be released before 4 September. I have to pay school fees by then! Shux. I am quite broke now. What to do? I really regretted not studying hard for my A levels. Spent my time away enjoying my college life! Sigh. Feeling kinda down right now!

I will work hard when the new school term starts. First class honors, wait till I get you alrite?

So much.

I haven't been blogging for the past week and have so much to share! Is that MUCH!!! And I really feel like blogging. Life is totally bored and I wonder how working people can actually stand having to work 5 or even 6 days a week! Do you know how expensive food and transportation is when you work? No idea!? Try working for 5 days and you already can feel the pinch. ha. I'm speaking from a full time student point of view. I prefer to be a kid. A child. And the most of all, a student. Not much social stuff which you will need to handle compared to the working society! Shux.

Sigh. Tell you people something about me alright? Everything on my body is fake. Yeah. Have been for a plastic surgery. You all believe it? And I had a close shave with death when I did my liposuction. Ha. Funny yeah? Had a nose job but now it's still crooked. Laugh all you want. What in the world is it now turning into? Sociologists, where are you people? Why can't you all seem to find an answer to why the society view "beauty" = "slim"!? Try to change their way of thinking!! Shux! What's wrong with this society that girls have to be slim!? I am having a hard time trying to meet up with the standard. Perhaps I shouldn't forced myself because it is of no use!? I'm borned ugly. Yeah. Whatever.

So much. My blog title. I miss my dar dar and my family the most during office hours. I will strategise such that I am able to spend as little time as I can in the office. Sigh. I really hate going to work. Especially when there aren't anything for me to look forward to! Arghz. Come on. Companies, please treat your temp staff better. They are your employees as well. Heard of organisational justice!? When an employee feels he/she is unfairly treated, it's not going to do any good to your company! Yeah! WAKE UP!!! They are human beings too.

Work burnout. Diet burnout. I am totally burnout.

Worse. I miss him. I miss God.

Mom falls sick. Praying for her. Please help me keep her in prayers too! Brother going to be enlisted soon. I am going to miss him. Daddy has been good but keep him safe and sound when he is outside. Bester has been stressed out at work! God, I pray that your wisdom be with him always. Jenny, Ying and Sherine are at Bangkok. Lord please grant them journey mercy. Praying for all my friends and love ones!

Sigh. Burnt.

Due.

This is a long over due blog entry! Argh.. Have been trying to upload the photos but think each time we are allowed to upload only5. Sigh. It's okie. So here are the 5 which I've picked to share with you guyz. Hee. If you want to look at more pictures, please refer to this website.
http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jasmine_sylvester/my_photos
So here are the photos.. Enjoy!

Aww.. Look how man he looks~! My prince charmaing!
Simply us. Ya. We juz woke up from our sweet night.
Taken in our tent. Fu qi xiang mah?
Haa. Love this picture because I look quite slim wor. Optical is illusion. Thanks DaR~!
Us. On bus 13 towards East COast Park~! I look so pale!

Spicy.

Haa.. Am eating a tiny portion of nasi lemak brought back from Katong~! N guess what else I ate?? Katong Laksa! But the main thing isn't about what I had for dinner.. Felt warm and comfy having a dinner date with none other than with my closed family members.. My brother, my daddy and mommy and I.. Juz the four of us.. 2 more people missing though.. *sad* Bester and Lucky~

Had a great time chatting with my parents and catching up with my brother. We haven't been out as a family for a very long time. Hee.. Feeling bloated and fat right now. =] Heee.. I am FAT. Anyway, my arms are so flabby that I kinda fell into depression because of that! Mild condition. Only feel upset when I am alone. Hee.

Love the laksa~! Yummy!! Carinne juz came back from BK.. Jen and Ying going next week. And me? I'm stuck on a small island named "Singapore" Haa.. Anyway.. can shop somemore till I drop!

Take care~!

Green.

Green with envy.
Green curry.
Green tea.
Green top.

Ai yo. Just green! Haa..

Yawn.

Wondering why I'm staying up till so late? Cos I'm tidying up my pig den! Finally!!! Though it's still not very neat and clean but I am trying my best to make spick and span as much as possible. Am taking a small break. *Hungry* Haa.. Cos it's in the middle of the night! =)

=)

Wow~! It has been quite some time since I last blog? Haa. Had a great weekend with all the shopping etc. Hee.. Bester's mom brought us to this peranakan restaurant, "True Blue" It was so expensive and the food was quite spicy (hee.. cos I don't really take spicy stuff..) My heart bleeds for Auntie.. Anyway, gotta thank Auntie for giving us the sumptous treat!

Mommy and daddy have been quite happy for the past week. Hee. Cos I was home during the weekdays and didn't go anywhere else late in the night. =) Me guai bao bao okie? (Okie! You all can vomit all you want! Haa.. =P)

Had a great gathering with Jen, Wen and Ying.. Ling and Carinne actually wanted to come buy can't make it! =) Their "jing1 sheng2" will always be with us! Hee. Ramen Ten ramen sucks! Ramen Ramen at railway mall is still the best that I ever tried. Thumbs up! Hee.. =) Jenny would readily agree with me right?

Have been reading the bible daily. Am refreshed instantly. As I started to read the Bible 2 weeks before, I felt so touched by Him. He has never forsaken me, always been there for me and giving me a comforting hand. This, I don't deserve as I have not been a good daughter to Him. - Those who wanna know more can msn me. -

Went on a shopping spree. Have to keep track on my expenditure now! Haa. =) Planning to buy another wedge from U.R.S Inc. and a top from U2. It's so exciting! You know why? Cos our 2nd anniversary is coming le! =)

Few.

Hee.. Notice that my title is always a word or a few. =)

I am beginning to feel.. Sigh. Don't know how and what to say. Shan't say much.

Blog. It isn't a private thing. It's for you to share with others how you feel and what you are thinking. Sigh.

Tired. Just back from work!

Escape.

Escape themepark. Ha. Not saying that I am escaping from something/someone.

It was certainly an enjoyable for the 4 of us who have visited the themepark this hot and sunny afternoon. Ting got these free entry tics which allow us all to have free rides. Yeah. First thing we tried was the "Viking". What I am going to type here is going to make you say that I am a useless gal. I nearly cried due to the over excitement!! Haa. =P It has been a long time ever since I had the ride. It was so so scary that I did not dare to open my eyes. Could hear Hui and Ting chatting away and laughing at me! Hee.. =) Bester was also quite tensed! He screamed a little at the beginning but after a while he was alright.

For all the rides that I tried, I wasn't looking anywhere i.e. I did not open my eyes! Hee... Okie. You can keep on laughing at me! *humph*

Later we have this beach session and continued to "bake" ourselves in the sun. I am having sun-burn right now! Red shoulders and face!!! =P can't say that I am a lobster hor. Took some pictures. Hui ah, forgotten to get the pics from you! Will beam 'em over when we meet up for Bugis shopping session k? =P

Love you gals.. =) Thank you so much for the day.. Heartfelt appreciation from both Bester and I!

P.S: Jen, Ying, Carinne, Yan Ling, hope you gals like the sandwich and the cheesey chicken
sausage that I prepared. Did you ladies have fun? Hope so. Hee and I know you all did.

Just read an article about MAS. Am thinking now whether I should join 'em. Provided I am able to get my 2nd class honors then.

Sigh. Read another article about how 13 dogs got culled by a shooting spree. This incident happned in Malaysia. Shan't say much. Madelene said this, "Blog isn't private. It's meant for everyone to see." I cannot disagree more fully with her. Sigh. Hee.

A fruitful week. I love the time I spent with my parents, Bester, Hui, Ting.. N I hope I have more time with the rest of my friends and buddies.

Joy.

Seeing you sleeping soundly and sweetly has been a great joy. Hee.

Deeply touched. Deeply missed.

'"My Jesus, my Savior Lord, there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise The wonders of Your mighty love
My comfort, my shelter Tower or refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am Never cease to worship You
Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You"

And as I worhsipped Him with this song. My heart bleeds. I thought of how He has never forsaken me and always been there to give me His unconditional love. He who had died on the cross not for His but my sins.

I cried to Him."I want to come back to You again, dear Father."

I miss Church of Singapore, Bt Timah. I miss all my fellow brothers and sisters. Especially Li Khoon, Joys, Li Shan, Yu Ting and so many more who used to be in ROWL. I miss those times when we attended "Saturday Night Life". I miss those times we spent studying and learning the truth of the bible. I miss the fellowship we had before and after church service. I miss everyone including Deacon Tan, Pastor Daniel and so many more...

My heart aches a lot.

God, You are my all in all.

Hee.

Updating my blog has always been an enjoyable task for me. Thank you so much for those who have been faithfullly reading my blog. Haha. Though I don't know anyone who reads my blog every now and then! Haa..

I have bought an OP bag which my brother thought it cost $60 bucks~!!!!! Haa. I am a cheapo. Bought it at only $15. Yeah! Worth buying rite?

Ai ai ah.. Don't buy your $168 bag lah! So expensive! Haa..

Have managed to crack da codes a bit here n there.. haa.. Quite obscene. Haa. So shan't typed it here. Msg me if you want to know what the msg means. Or if you have a definition of it. =)

I am sick! Haa. Dar said my mouth smells like a sick person lor. Boo Hoo Hoo.

Argh.

Haa. My lips feel dry and hot. Seems like I am falling ill soon.

Yawn. Sleeping time. Good nite.

Thankful.

Thank goodness that my colleague has made clear to me that she wasn't actually irritated by me!!! Haa. It was me being over sensitive. =) So just ignore my previous entry!

Yeah. Can resume to my usual chatty self in office le!

I'm thankful to a lot of people who have crossed my pathway... Some who have left footprints... Some left scars... Some left golden words... Some haven't left yet! ;P

=) Somoeone has left a string of codes for decoding. Am trying hard to make out what it means.

Puzzled.

Seriously, what on earth have I DONE WRONG to have irritate someone so badly.

Depressed. Shall be back to my quiet self once again. Shhh.

Work.

Haa. Hey peeps, how's everyone getting on? Miss me because I've been missing in action for weeks in the internet world? Haa. Gonna update you people what I've been up to lately. Got to provide some explainations right? ;]

Started my new job assignment after 4 days of temping at J.D. Power Asia (a marketing research company) and now working as a Temp Admin Assistant at Toyota Motor Asia Pacific Pte Ltd. It was fun and thank goodness that I have got Madelene to guide me for 2 weeks before she leaves and start schooling at SIM! Ha. Ironically, there was a temp girl (also from SIM, taking UOL programme as well!!!) who was supposed to take over her duties but she left after one day? Ha. A small world indeed. (Awww...)

Job scope: Filing, doing PV (don't ask me what it stands for!!), delivering documents to different departments, etc. Fun!!

Sigh. But I miss school. A lot!!! Really cannot wait till school reopens. Can't believe that it is still June as it feels like I am already in the month of July!!! Can time pass a little bit faster? Haa.

Manage to catch my very first movie after so long with my bestest buddies. Hee.. Watched "Just my luck". A comedy that I would recommend. Especially if you have found yourself lately to be very unlucky, wait till you watch this and see how unlucky others really are.

Hee.. Sigh. Have been feeling down too. (Secret. Won't divulge anything.)

It's Saturday and I'm learning to treasure the resting and entertainment time I have!

Oh yah. One happy thing to note. Bester bought me my favourite heels!! Thank you hubby! HUgz.

Life.

The title of my blog: Life.

When I first stated this blog, I wanted to share with people about my life and what I have gone through for the past few years. To update all about my unhappening life. I also wanted to blog about my thoughts and feelings, those that I may not want to verbally share it with anyone.

Life. Alive or Dead?

I can't imagine my parents, brother, Bester, my bestest buddies, best pals and friends leaving this world. The thought of this makes my heart sinks!

Lousy.

Have been in a lousy mood ever since my exams finished! Worrying about my results all day long, fearing that I may fail any subjects again!!! Have been praying hard that I will be able to clear all and also to score well if I can. Sigh.

I have been in a daze to such an extent that I do not like to talk much nowadays. The bubbly me has faded as time goes by. I have been "showing attitude" to everyone, even to Bester and parents and my bestest buddies.

Bester: I got to apologise the being not the usual self ever since I started preparing for me examinations. I am trying hard to become more chatty and open. =)

Jen, Ying, Wen, Carinne: Sorry!!! Know I have not been talking much to you gals lately!!! Perhaps it is due to us not meeting up so often nowadays that makes me feel kinda distant from you all lately. Especially Jen, thank you so much for making the effort to make me communicate with you all! I really appreciated it lots! =) Give me some time k?

I promise that I will get back my bubbly and chatty self again! I promised.

Updates.

3 June 2006, Saturday

Haa. Have actually forgotten to blog about the BBSS 20th Anniversary Dinner! Ha. Here's a rather late report of the happenings. Saw several of our teachers who have taught me during my 4 years in sec school. Was fun catching up with one another and marvelling at the numerous changes that had taken place.. In terms of our apperances, ie those who used to be nerdy nerdy type (just like me? ha.) are now becoming prettier ever since we graduated. Hee. (BHB ah? hee..) Will post up the photos if I am free for the next few days.

The food actually kinda not up to the expected standard. Hee. It was so so. Edible. A word to describe if you insist that I comment on it. Haa. The whole fun was actually taking lots of photos and catching up with one another, finding out the current status and situations we all are in. Hee. Went back to 4e1 and 4e3 classrooms. Took a photo with our 2e4'99 teachers, Ms Ngiam and Mr Latiff.. How can we also forget the Chemistry teacher who has helped us in getting distinctions for the subject? Haa. Oh ya! There were kind of "grumbling" how good we were then as their students in comparison to the curren batch they are teaching. Haa. Oopz. We are BEST! Yeah.. 2001 always rules man! Because WE ARE THE BEST!

Yeah. Lamer, me! hee..

9 June 2006

Went shopping with my dear Jenny and Ying! Were having lots of fun walking around, trying on shoes and clothes. I actually saw a few that I like! Charles and Keith and U.R.S Inc do not have shoes that really fancy me. Surprisingly, I saw a few good ones at Trendy Zone, a shop that I always thought to be of inferiority (ehh.. correct spelling bo? I not angmoh trying to be one okie?) Ha. Anyway, I didn't buy anything! Hee. Forever 21 shall now become my favourite apparel shop lo! =) Carinne joined us after her work and we continued on our shopping spree. Haa. Oh. I did buy something! Nail polish that cost only $2.50! I will be getting the remover as well from The Face Shop. Cheap and nice! Highly recommended! Got to thank Bester for keeping me accompany. He's one of the extinct guys that will keep gals accompany to shop! (Hugz!)

I envy both Jen, Ying and Carinne. All got income and can buy stuff without much involvement and do not percieve much differences between brands. Well, let me recall, in marketing terms, they are engaging a "Variety Seeking" buying behaviour? Haa.. Sigh. Oh yah! We are going Bangkok!! That is if only my parents allow! I am crossing my fingers!! I really wanna go badly! Hee..

11 June 2006
Shopping trip at Bishan Junction 8 with Bester's mommy and tua yee! Haa. Finally bought 2 pairs of footwear from Trendy Zone. Still thinking whether I should buy the heels from there and also another pair from Hush Puppies! Haa. Argh. No $$$ !!! Then went to P.O.A and saw business suits that cost only $30!! I bought a pants for only $15! Yeah. Usually the things are rather expensive. Maybe going down to take a look again at Orchard outlet and see if there are other good bargins!

Dar is angry with me! Oh no! For the long blogging I did.

Oh well.

Ha. Wanted to change my blogskin actually. Well, was browsing through so many skins till I got fed up and sian. Can't seem to find one that catches my eye. Argh. I am feeling yucky. Fats forming a float around me. Yikes. Flabby arms that goes "biong" everytime I start waving my them. Eeeckz... What to do? I am a undergraduate who had just suffered under tremendous stress during examination period, grown sideways and now slacking my time away.

My room is in a mess. Ha. It is now "whining" for the long waiting makeover that I owe. Literally "begging" me to do it fast so that it will not look like a eyesore compared to my brother's room and his working space. Ha. What to do? I am just plain lazy.

Each time I saw old folks cleaning the tables, so that youngsters like us are able to buy food and eat comfortably at our clean tables and seats, I feel so sorry for them. The saddness will sometimes be so overwhelming that I will feel like crying out, for 'em. = (

I miss my grandmother. She died when I was 15. A few days after my birthday. Her smiles never fail to brighten up my days when I used to visit her often when I was still a kid. Even when we're older and I know how to speak a bit of my dialect, we would talk almost about anything. Well, mostly about my mom's and uncles' and aunties' past. Ha.

I want to shop. But with no money, I don't know how I am going to do that! Sian!

Work.

Well, now I realised that studying is so much fun than working. I miss studying. I want to sleep. Haa. =)

Ah!!!

Sigh. What's happening? My conversation skills with people seems to have turned from bad to worse. Shux! Can't even form proper sentences and when I speak I will get jittery and scared. Sigh. I am fustrated at the state I am in now! Dear friends, when you converse with me try to use English and force me to speak in that language too, okie? Haa.

Nothing much to update. Have rejected the job offer from Recruit Express. The place is simply too far!!! Takes about 1 hour and 15 mins to reach the office! And to take a train to and fro takes up too much of my precious time. Ha. At least if I reach home earlier, I can go for a jog or engage in some activities that allow me to lose some weight. Isn't that better than to lose my time away? Haa..

GSS. No money to spend on pretty clothes and shoes. Not much sales going on too. As in the discounts that they are giving doesn't seem so attractive to me. Sigh. Thought can buy lots of things during this period. Haa.

I desparately need a job. Anyone got lobang?

Shux. Here I go again.

Dilemma

Sigh. I am thinking hard whether or not should I accept the job offer at Braddell. It's very far from my place. = ( Sigh.

Over.

It's over. The days of mugging and flipping through stacks and stacks of notes has finally come to an end. NOT feeling relaxed at all. My head is still spinning and hurting from those stressed up period!

My goals now: SHOP! Make myself extremely stunning! Ha. =)

Hooray!!!

Ping Hui and Sharon,
All the best for your CF okie? Jia you!!!

Wee.

I haven't stepped into this library for donkey weeks. Haa. =)
I am hungry. Spiritually and physically.
I think I can start work immediately after my examination ends.
I want to shop. Shopping is every girl's forte. Isn't it? Ha.
I want to lose weight. Double chin? Float around my tummy? Flabby arms? Yucks. Disgusted.
I want to excel in my studies. Most papers have already been decided.
I want to be more confident of myself.
I want to spend more quality time with my and his parents.
I want to maintain good friendships. Realised how bad I am to some of my friends.
I want to catch up with my sleep. Double eyelids and my mom thought I have got eye infection!
I am tired. Sleepy. Feeling disgusted by my not well defined body contours.
I want to make myself prettier. Makeup. Perm or rebond? Short or long?
All the suffering and mental torture. It will soon come to an end.

I have wasted half an hour typing this. Ha. See how I die tomorrow. = (

"Who you are now are the decisions you have made in the past."

Interesting line.

=(

I am devastated. I think I am going to fail PBF. The consequence is that I will be going on to my fourth year. Yupz. Ain't going to get my degree at the end of my 3rd in school. I am a utter failure. I cried for the whole night. I realised what I have forgotten to write in. I am stupid.

I need a job!

Yes people. I know my exams aint over yet and I should focus on it rather than looking for a job right now. But I do need pocket money for the upcoming Great Singapore Sales!!!! So much things that I want to buy and without cash I won't be able to enjoy a higher utility. (Yikes! Econs.. sigh.) Will do up a shopping list now so that I won't forget what are things that I'm aiming for. hee.. "Steady pom pi pi!!"

Sigh. My typing skills have turned bad to worse. My typing speed aint fast anymore and to add on to the flaws, I even have to back space several times for a simple word like "typing". Shux! Perhaps I've been writing too much things for the past month? Ha. Yeah. That should be the reason.

I've slacked for the past few days. Now is the time to catch up with my studies and make sure that I will perform well for the rest of the 3 papers. They are Principles of Banking and Finance, Human Resource Management and Marketing. Did I ever mention that HRM and Marketing papers fall on the same day!!!?? I'll be so tired after the first paper in the morning! Sigh. What to do? Do the people who set the dates have any kind of sympathy towards us, students? Hehe. Perhaps they are taking their revenge so that we will suffer like they did when they were students huh.

Sigh! I am having a tummy ache right now. Sigh.

*phew*

Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers!!! They're one of my sources of motivation and strength!!! Thank you thank you!!!

Sigh. Left another 3 more papers to tackle. I'm feeling kinda pessimistic about this year's exams! Have absolutely no idea whether I can make it to the next semester. I hope I can but who knows?

Sigh.

Sigh.

4 more papers to tackle. Economics coming up next. Am I able to pass it? Does it seem so easy? I am afraid. I am! Sian! = (

The fateful period.

Yeah. Examinations period that is. = ( In case you are wondering why am I slacking and not studying, I have studied and am now taking a short break! = (

In school. Yeah. Wonder if anything has already been registered in my memory after studying for so many days! I hope that did happen! Sian!

Pray for Jami. Tml is her last paper. Pray for me. Tml is my first paper.

Sigh. Sian!

Stressed.

I am very stressed! Ah!!! How can I ever finish revising for everything for all my subjects! I am getting panicky! Help!!!! Please keep me in prayers. I need a miracle to pass. Sigh.

Pray for Jami also.. today is her first paper! Hee.. =) Jia you wor..

Felt quite nice after having a chat with Jenny gal.. thanks! =) Can't wait to go shopping with you people again!!! hee..

Ping Hui ah.. we go Kbox also okie!? hee..

It has been raining...

Correction. It's pouring! The rain is super duper big!! Today is my mom's birthday!!! Happy Birthday mommy.. hee.. following that will be Dad's bday!! hee.. =)

Saw a green flowery tube dress. Maybe wearing that for BBSS dinner! hee.. =)

Counting down: 12 days!!!

12 more days before the start of my first paper. Feeling extremely nervous right now. For those who have been keeping my in prayers, thank you so much!

aiai: Will keep you in prayers too! Noe you're having your exams right now.

So blessed with many good friends and a husband-to-be. =) Hee..

Intensive.

Intensive revision. Intensive depth of knowledge. Intensive memorising. Intensive stress I am facing. Intensive lousy mood. "Intensively" nervous.

Examinations coming in 14 days time and I have got the "time" to face the computer screen. Addicted to the internet. An addiction that I can't get rid off. Ha.

Am having PMS for the past few days. Am having MS for this whole week. Will be having PMS for the following days.

Bad temper. Aware but cannot control. People around me are suffering more than me. I apologise for that!!

I hope and pray this will end soon enough before I am "drowned" in the notes.

Anger. Sleepy. Upset.

Not enough sleep + Slept at 4am + Woken up by a call + Person speaking loudly + PMS
= Irritated + Sleepy + Fuming mad + Upset

A "good" formula to start my day off with a "cheerful smile"!!!

What can I do?

I really hate exams and having a 100% exam based bachelor degree isn't going to help either! I am starting to regret of opting for UOL programme! Sigh. But what to do? I have come so far and the opportunity cost of switching course is really high. Not worthwhile to do so. Should I study part time and start working full time? I am pondering.

Well, sometimes I wonder by just memorising for the sake of the examinations, will we actually remember it for life and apply them during our course of work? I doubt so. Thus, UOL has come up with questions such that it isn't about writting descriptive essays. Rather, we will have to process throught the knowledge and know when and how to apply them in our answers. Sigh.

Sigh. Yeah. I am doing it again. Sigh.

Sigh.

Stressed. Nervous. Depressed.

But neither of these feelings I have has made me to be more disciplined in my daily revision. I will give myself hundreds of reasons why I should procrastinate and study later. What am I doing? Sigh. Even at this point of time, I am telling myself that I have to study but why am I typing in front of the com screen?

One of the things I learnt after watching "Da Chang Jin" is that a person will change unknowingly in the situation he/she is in. I believe so that I have changed a lot from the past few months. I have become less chatty and bubbly in front of some people. These changes may or not be beneficial for myself. The only thing I feel consoled is that I can definitely by myself in front of God. He knows inside out who I am. He knows what is happening to me as it is all pre planned by the Almighty one. I am reaching out for His love and strength that I will be able to pull through during this period.

I think there are few who will read my blog once in a while. But how many come with a good intention of just wanting to know what is going on with my life and whether I'm living well? Sigh. Not all, I guess. That was the dream I had been talking about. I always thought the life would always be smooth sailing and people will behave and respond in a good manner. Am I being a perfectionist in my ideas? Ha. I'm definitely not one when it comes to the real world.

Impact. Sigh.

Tian Hui.

Hmmm.. The skies is grey? Looks more like it's black now! Yeah. Am at home and not stuck in the school library. It is going to rain soon. "Cats and dogs" to be exact. My prediction. That does not mean that I will be "grounded". Will be going out to meet up with Bester to try on Birkenstocks shoes and purchase it online. Hee. =)

Am I able to score at least 2nd Upper grades with the results that I had for my prelim? I am very afriad and nervous now. But being stressed up isn't going to do me any good as it will cause mental block! Shux. What should I do now? I have myself to blame. Sigh. Tired. Stressed. Nervous. What to do?

*Ah choo* Someone thinking of me? I only sneezed 2 times! Ha. Perhaps someone was thinking and scolding me at the same time ya?

Hee.

Da Chang Jin

Finally~! I have managed to borrow Da Chang Jing VCDs from May le! Thank you so much gal! Hee.. Now I don't have to worry that I will miss any more episodes! Gonna watch from the start again! =) Hee.. Hooray!!

Sigh. This entry was continued from where I left. I am stuck in school. Not because there's a heavy downpour. Well, I have got marketing local revision class later on. Got back my Econs, POA, Sociology papers. As expected, I flunk all of them. Am feeling extremely scared as I saw the one of my schoolmates actually passed POA despite not being able to finish the last question. Shux. I better pull up my socks!

I am praying that the Lord will help me during this period and everything will go on smoothly.

*Feburary Baby* 13 Feburary 1985

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

Above provide some insights of what kind of person I am. Ha. Bolded are the ones that I think fits me best.

Yawn. I want to go shopping! I am fat! Arghz.

Yawn.

It's 2.30am. I don't feel sleepy at all! Sigh. Well, I am. Just want I want to type this entry in my blog! Hee. =)

My buddies will be going shopping this coming Saturday while I'll be mugging in school. Ha. There are so many things which I want to buy but with a constrained budget, I guess I can't buy anything much! I am looking for a job. I need some form of income. I need $$$ so that I can go shopping, just like any typical gal. Sigh.

I am not rich. And I would want to earn $$$ by my own means. Sigh! Why can't I be like my brother who knows how to invest in activites that will bring him quite a considerable sum of pocket money? Shux!

This is the list of things I want to buy:

1) 4 pairs of Birkenstock sandals. 1 for Bester, 1 for my brother and 2 pairs for myself. :P

2) 3 Polo Tees. Hmmz.. thinking of getting green, white and pink! Yesh. Pink~! My favourite colour~!

3) Gio white basic tee. Hee. Mine is getting old!

4) A new white "leather" bag.

5) New belts. Ha. I'm falling in love with them! Good form of accessories!

6) More beautiful tops.

7) "Hollywood" dieting drink. I want to try out myself whether it works. Is that construct validity? Hehe.

8) New dresses and skirts. Perhaps I will buy a pair of shorts too! =)

Hee. Perhaps I will study a bit tomorrow and as a reward for that, I will go shopping! Sigh. I have wasted 2 days! =(