Had a good talk with Bester last night. The whole conversation was basically on the topic of my "diet obsession"! Whenever I typed that phrase, I didn't think that I was actually obsessed with being slim and everything. However, for the past few months, I didn't realise that I've become less bubbly and joyful as compared to before. My whole focus was only on BEING SLIMMER. Recently, Bester's plea was for me to love him more! I thought I had always showed him caer and concern?! I didn't "wake up" until last night when he told me that he is CONSTANTLY living in fear as my actions and behaviour doesn't show my love for him! That really jolted be back to the reality!
People for the past 2 months have been telling me that I have slimmed down too much, or being to skinny, etc.. Sure, I was slim then! I didn't care what they said! Cos I kinda like it when I was maintaing that weight! But it really affected my health badly that I am getting the fear of being anorexic! I didn't even want to eat but kept telling myself that I will skip meals and not consume anything but ended eating up more than I require! Binge. Now, that really makes me fat!
The person who suffered the most, Bester! He's always there to tolerate with all my dieting nonsense but never seems to give up on me once! I am really touched by all his little actions. He constantly reminded me to take proper meals and not because I want to have a hot body then go on dieting! He loves me just the way I am, be it now or in the past! =) So sweet of him! I realli want to make up to him for the past 2 mths that he had suffered! Dar, give me a chance! Please?
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