Dark skies.

天灰

如果你不再出現　我的世界　還有什麼可貴
可惜不夠時間　讓我們試驗　什麼叫永遠

＃想念變成懷念　心動變成心碎
　偏偏還會關切　你最後屬於誰＃

＊我的天空今天有點灰　我的心是個落葉的季節
　我不知道如何度過今夜　 所有的燈　早已經全都熄滅＊

如果你從沒出現　我會不會　覺得快樂一些
可惜殘忍時間　總要把諾言　一點點摧毀

MY opinions!

Yes! All the things that I am typing now is all coming from me and absolutely no one else!!! Don't go around and start pointing fingers at anyone!! If you do, you people will get more from me, yet again! Beware. This is my blog and I have got my rights what I want to type in here! And of course you have your rights of commenting. Tag me if you want. But please do not criticise because all of us have got freedom of speech especially when it comes to my blog. What an irony! Freedom. Ha.

To all men out there, if you think any girls who would want to be dumb and ignore your wrongdoings such as "stepping 2 boats at a same time" and occasionally "accidentally" kissing other girls? You are WRONG! No girls are able to stand that unless they have NO NO feelings for you, ANYMORE! And if she does act ignorant about it, you should feel honoured to have such a forgiving and loving girlfriend. Man, why don't you all treasure those YOU have chosen.

If your good pal's boyfriend happens to be your good friend too, shouldn't all the more you try not to be so close to him? Don't you ever consider your good pal's feelings? Don't tell me that I don't know how it feels cos i HAVE experienced that before! (buddies and pals, don't ask me when was that! hee.. cos it's already in the past!) Come on, put some common sense in yourself! People have eyes and they can see what is happening even without anyone telling them anything! And fancy doing all those things behind your pal, ever thought you would hurt your friend even deeper? You claim that both of you are just friends? Come on, even for those who know what is happening, you think they will buy your story? Are you secretly carrying a torch for him? Telling your pal she has got a good catch and kept on complimenting the guy. Ha.

And guys stop saying that your girlfriends aren't good enough! You told them what you don't like about them, they change it all for you, willingly! And you, do you ever make changes too? Have you ever wondered because they woman cares so much about you and love you SO SO MUCH, that is whey they feel jealous!? NO? Never thought of that? Ha. So that shows how much you love the girl then! And you claim that how much you love her and want her to be by your side. Ha Ha! What a bunch of liars! Morons!

You are giving yourself 101 execuses why you want to dump the girl. Ask yourself when you even chase the girl in the first place!? It is SO HURTFUL. And you all jolly well know that! But yet you guys seem to like what you all are doing, ALWAYS! Alright, maybe I am getting a bit too extreme but this is what I felt. Of course not all guys are like that but there a few who had crossed my paths! And the most stupidest thing, you do not even give a chance to the woman to talk things out with you! SMS, emails... Technology!? What is wrong with you people? If you are a real man or even woman, say it RIGHT IN FRONT of them and not be a tortoise!

No real love. Loving unconditionally. All are so hard to achieve. So hard.

I was very upset with some of you. You all have hurt those people I love dearly. In life, you will not get the best of both worlds. Sacrifice is needed. Hurtful words that are being said are like nails being hit into the wall. Even when you take them out, there are holes already!

No one is right or wrong in this world. I maybe wrong. But in my opinions I am right. So in your opinions, you maybe right too. But can we try not to use hurtful words or even do things that will hurt each other? Can we live together in harmony? All of us in this world, peace and no war, no riots and no chaos. Possible?

Ha. I maybe crapping.

Mixed.

I'm in a state of mixed feelings. Mostly negative feelings though. As I looked at my schedule, I know that I have got not much time to settle down and get through my revision without any breaking down or to simply have got the heck care attitude!

I am scared. Yes I am! Nervous and afraid! I cannnot afford to flunk again! I do not want to waste my time away! Neither do I want to spend so much of my parents' $$$ on my stupid paper that I am getting at the end of the 3 years in SIM! Shux.

I hate being misunderstood. I guess nobody likes it either. I am stressed up. I am afriad that I will offend anyone. This to some people maybe seen as hypocrisy. Can I adopt the heck care attitude here? I don't know. I am very confused! I do not know how and what I should do.

I would love to scream! Scream my lungs out and cry all I want.

Depressed. Nervous. Low self esteem.

Life.

Well, sometimes I would just stare blankly into the air and thoughts just fill my mind.

I ever thought now that I'm an adult, in a few years time I'll be a mother.. and later my parents will leave me (and I hope that will never happen) and I'll be alone with my spouse and brother and then it will be my turn to taste death. Ha. I do hope all these will never come true in the time to come!!!

Sian! Lots of sian things in my life! =)

I shan't be deterred! I will persevere!!

Stressed!

I'm in a state of confusion. A state of stressed mind. A state of sian-ness.

But I am happy with something else.. Something sercretive that I share with the special someone. =)

Most of the time in my life, I've made decisions that may be of some disadvantage to myself. I would think for others than to think for myself. Sigh. Will I ever regret the decisions that I've made at the end of my 3 years - 4 years in my uni life? Sian!

What if...

Sigh. Lots of unhappiness happened lately! Not going to touch much on those issues..

Last Saturday was my first time to a cafe whereby u can eat, chat, and play board games! Haa. All thanks to the Drill Committee who brought me there.. and a surprise cake.. and IKEA vouchers!! Thank you thank you all.. Thank you Yawling, Mengru, Joey, Sokling, Jami! Thank you so much! =)

Bester finally got his driving license! HOoRay! haa.. =) It will be his turn to drive me around! Driving is a tiring thing to do you all know!? Sigh! ha..

ME!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=jas14eva

Click on the link above and find out who I actually am! =)

Thank you wen! This is fun!!!

ZzZz Monster!

Oh dear. Just now it came to look for me and i fell asleep while revising the first chapter of POA! Ha. Actually wanted to revise through HRM but thought it will be good if I can finish POA asap! =) Going to look for Min later to get back the tumblers!

Wanna know how I spent my Valentine's Day and with who (erm.. that goes without saying right? Hee.) Please visit www.jaster150704.blogspot.com if you wanna "kay poh" lah.. hee..

Mugging mode. A battle that is hard to win! God bless me!

A new chapter begins.

I've turned 21 on a very fateful day, 13 Feburary 2006!

Let's first start off with the party I had thrown on the 11 Feburary 2006!
I woke up at about 9am and felt so sleepy as I didn't have a good night rest for the past few days. Went downstairs to get ready the stuff for the party and Lucky kept barking. That was quite irritating considering the fact that I was grumpy due to lack of sleep! Hee.. Mommy bombarded me with so many things at one go too.. Arghz.. And when Bester woke up, I snapped at him. Poor darling, I'm so so sorry!

Both of us were very excited and so was my dad! We went to buy ballons and were trying to look for the bases for the small candles but couldn't find it! Even the bakery won't sell it. I thought I could only use whatever number of candles that Swensens was going to provide. Then we went back home with only the balloons and the poker cards. Once I reached home, the ice cream I ordered from Swensens arrived too! It was a 2.5kg, Love Struck with 21 candles and the wordings "Happy 21st Birthday Jasmine" Cool! Kept in the ice box with the dry ice! Hee..

I blew the ballons as fast as I could as time was catching up! Haa. Dar was like, "I don't know how to blow balloons!" I laughed my head off! Hee.. Ended up he helped me tied all the balloons on the string and we put them up! It was very nice and I loved the balloons with the wordings "Happy Birthday". Hee! Then the buffet came. It was quite a disappointment as the food doesn't look too appetizing at all! Sigh. Next time don't order from Y.L.S Catering people! Not nice! Ha.

Shi Yang and Carinne came. As I was still quite busy, I didn't know what they can help me with! Yang helped me to carrying the boxes of Coke in! Haa. When Wen and Jen came, they were like asking me to sit down so that they can help me blow my hair and help me tied the princess hairdo which I love a lot! Thank you Carinne and Jen for helping me with my makeup and all! Hee.. I did look so much like a princess and I felt like one too! Hee.. Felt so thirsty as I didn't have anything so took a can of coke and started drinking.

Then more and more people came. Thank you who came and I love your presents a lot a lot! Appreciated it lots! And I was running here and there. My neighbours came over too! Finally got to see some of them since we were busy with our own schedules! My uncle came and gave me his blessings!

Haa.. Then comes the tearful part of the day. As my helpers, Juan, Hui, Ting and Bester were busy unrevealing the cake for me, I went to get the guitar. Then there was phototaking sessions! My brother was like so professional that everyone present was impressed! Thank you di di for helping me! And thank you for the Levis Jeans! It's very style and nice! Hee. Then Carinne, Wen, Jen, Yang and Bester helped me lit the candles and make the dry ice. Everyone "wow"ed as the the smoke came out! Hee. And before they sang me the birthday song, I delivered my thank you speech. Don't know why but couldn't control my flow of tears! Argh! Made Auntie Maria, Dua Yee, Carinne and Jen almost cried! Haa. And as they sang the song, I felt so honoured to have so many people celebrating such an important event of my life with me!
Lavania, Pei Hong, Jenny, Wen, Bester and Carinne were helping me to cut the cake which was so hard! Thank God it started melting with all the body heat surrounding it! Hee.. Yummy but the cake a bit small though! Sorry to all! Hee...

Then started packing up with Mom and Dad and Brother helped too! Da bao for my neighbours and left some for my family. And as we wanted to take a look at the photos, Joe came! Haa. And I told him that he's late! Hee. Showed him the photos and explained what happened earlier! So fun! Then it was time to open up the presents... And as I did.. I "WOW"ed!

But the most touching gift I ever received was from my bestest buddies! The BIG card that they made from the photos and their creativiting and their sacrifice of time and sleep! They did it till late in the night at Wen's place! Thank you so much. Though you didn't see me cry, I was and I nearly did! The tears were flowing in my heart gals and Yang! Thank you so much!!! Buddies 4 eva and eva!!!!

Thank you Mommy and Daddy! Thank you didi! Thank you bestest buddies and pals and to all who came to witness the major event of my life! Thank you so much!

Photos will be uploaded soon~

12 Feburary 2006
Went over to Isabelle's place to celebrate her birthday! Hee. Received a card from her it was so nicely done! Hope she likes the present we gave her and also the card that we made for her!

13 Feburary 2006
Attended Xue Min's brithday! Wow.. So many people also! Hee.. Nice and yummy chocolaty cake! Love it! Ravier had to go home early with his mommy, Mel as he has to bathed and tucked to bed! Past his sleeping time lor! Haa.. Then Bester brought me to the multistorey carpark where we had our cheesecake and got to see the pretty view of the stars hanging in the dark skies! It was a memorable experience as that was what I had always dreamed of. To be someone I love and looking at the stars in his arms! Thank you Dar!

And that was how I started my new adulthood days.. Will update soon! Hee..

Mess!

Wow.. My room has been in a mess for days! Haa.. Ever since Tuesday, when I fell sick! Just brushed everything under the bed! =) But now am trying to clear it up!

Just like Wen, I've been in a deep **** with mock exams just 2 weeks away! Arghz!!

Love this smile of the air now.. err.. like when I first went ECP with Bester.. hee

Mom and Dad and Brother bought this key pendant for me! Thank you... And of course to Meiai.. love that gift! =)

Hot!

"I've got a fever! I'm HOT! I can't be stop! I've got a fever! I'm HOT! I can't be stop!" Haa. Sounds familiar? A cheer or something? That can be used to describe how I was yesterday and this morning and even till now!

Was feeling so uncomfortable during my PBF lecture and I felt extremely COLD.. Was sneezing all the way before that and I told my mom who on earth was scolding me! Ha. Met dar at Westmall to place order for my cake. Dar felt my body and it was so so so hot! Took 2 Panadols and thought it was okie.

This morning, I felt worse! With no choice, Dar asked me to bathe in cold water. He also used the ice pack and towel immersed in a freezing cold water to cool my body temperature! Yup! That was how hot I was! Manage to see the doctor at 2.30pm and now feeling so much better!

Wanna thank Dar for taking care of me today! He felt so tired that he fell asleep an hour before his tuition time! Poor dar dar! Hope he's feeling not so tired after the short nap! Missing him right now..

Think it was my 17th birthday.. I also had a high fever of 38.8 degrees! Saw a doc and went to Bt Panjang to meet up with my buddies.. Carinne, Jen, Wen, Ying and Yang.. First thing I did was to puke as I wasn't feeling well on the bus journey already! Haa. Then met all of 'em at Sakura Restaurant and had our dinner! They surprised me with a cake! =) hee.. So sweet of 'em!

Hee.. Guess after 3 - 4 yrs... I may fall sick on my birthday too! =)

Buddies.

Manage to meet up with my 'sisters' for a visiting to each other's house! Haa. Was fun with the mahjong session and lots of catching up that we've done! Somehow, deep within my heart, I felt that we aren't as close as before.

It used to be us hanging out always, for shopping or just for a drink. Well, guess it is because all of us are now busy with own schedule. Those who are working are working, those who are still schooling are mugging like mad! Sigh.

Can't help but to feel this saddness. My buddies are the ones whom I love most too.. beside my family and Bester. Sigh!

Feel sad for Bester too. He's feeling down for the past week actually! Cheer up dar! Tomorrow is going to be a better day! =)

Updated wishlist!

Haa.. In abt a week's time, I'll be celerbating my first few adulthood days! Hee.. So here's a wishlist for those who may want to get me a present! hee.. No obligations! Your presence and wishes is already a gift for me! =)

1) Double Detox which cost $168 now!
2) X-trim Sculpturing Gel! Cost $69 now!
3) Slimming packages! I really dun mind having this you know?!
4) Makeover vouchers
5) Manicure or pedicure vouchers
6) Bag errr.. the one that Wen has! hee.. Orangey one!!!
7) Jacket (Those very in thing now!)
8) IKEA voucher
9) Paint! Yes.. haa.. So that I can repaint my room! (Colours: Rich Plum, French Blue, Rasberry)
10) Nissan March! The new one! Pink colour!!! Hee.. I'll be so so so HAPPY if you get me that!
11) Shopping Vouchers (Levis, Giodano, Lee Hwa Jewellery, Citigems, Takashimaya)
12) A new study table! Aaa.. if you dunno which type maybe can get me IKEA vouchers? haa..
13) A new bed. Those double decker kind but with only the above got bed one! Erm, below can put table! Think can get from IKEA or Courts! Haa.. Please include matterress too! Hee..

No sequencing in this list! hee.. yup yup! If you are getting me a bed, a study table, paint, car, bag and jacket, please do tell me in advance.. hee.. so there won't be duplicates.. hee.. if not what am I going to do with 2 cars ah? hee.. hooo.. hee..

Worthwhile.

I've finally found something that is worth blogging for. Was reading the Daily Bread yesterday and found this passage very meaningful.

2 Timothy 2 : 22-26
"Flee the evil desires of youthm and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguements, because you know they produce arguements. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to al knowledge of truh, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the evil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Something for all of you to think about! = )