2006!

Phew! In just a blink of an eye, we're going to say "bye bye" to 2005 and welcome two O O six with both our arms! Have you people thought of what you should do on these last few hours of 2005?

Haha... It had been a fun filled year with lots of happening things! Looking on a sadder side of my life, I failed 3 full units! Meaning I have to study really hard for my exams in year 2006 as I'll be taking 6 units! Sigh. Had lots of arguements and quarrels with Bester throughout the year. Had let my parents down for not doing well in school! Didn't spend as much time as I did before with my bestest buddies and pals! (They are Jen, Wen, Ying, Carinne - buddies. Hui, Juan, Ting - pals) Didn't talk to my brother as much as before (Hey bro, yeah.. I miss u a little too! haa.. dun get too surprised by that okie? You're da only brother I have!) *Always look on the bright side of life...* haa.. of course there are many joyful events in my life too! Haa.. Like the fun that I had with my parents when we went out together as a family.. the laughter that Bester's family has brought me! Hee.. There are fond memories that I'll never forget!

There are some things which I'll like to share with everyone. Something that I had only thought of after one my ex-school mate's death. He was only 20 when he died weeks ago.

I've been saying "I love you" to those whom I hold dearly. Just don't want to regret if by any chance I would to leave this world a bit earlier than expected! Anything can happen! Sigh. You can get yourself killed if when you cross the road! Sigh. Sad isn't it?

To all my who I know, just want to appreciate for your friendship for the past days, months and years! If I've offended anyone of you in the course of my life, just want to take this chance to apologise! Sincerely I present to you all my apologies! Sorry ppl!

I pray to the Lord that in my years to come, I'll be taught to be a better person. Amen.

Messy!?

Can't stand my room any longer! Ha. So messy with things lying around.. be it on the floor, my bed, the table.. well, it's everywhere! Trust me... haa.

I'm going for a battle in year 2006. Will first attack SIM Hall 4.03 and will take a break from there before conquering Singapore Expo Hall dunno what! Ha. How on earth am I going to win when I didn't even know the actual war zone? Shux! Have to pay some money in January to bribe those officials. It's a hefty sum mind you! $3000!!! Dad told me that I better score well this time round if not he's going to let me earn my own school fees!

Am rushing to finish my projects on hand. Hope to do it well and good. Gave myself a dateline that by 1 Jan got to complete everything that I'll have to plan!

Read XiaXue's blog. She looked so pretty in those pics! Sigh. I hope I can too! I am looking fatter each day. Trying to skip meals nowadays and also to walk longer distances to burn a bit more calories. Ha.

Emotionally I am still quite disturbed by certain things. I wonder why can't I be seen as who I am!? Why am I treated like as if I'm one of the finalist in the Star Idol!? Well, if I really am I should be in that show as one of them right now! Sigh. Shall use one sentence that Bester used.. "I'm treated like shit!"

Now I know how it feels. Dar, I apologise for that! Truly!

Wanna buy more pink stuff! Haa. Thinking of getting Lucky a pink leash! Haa. Perhaps a pink bowl where she can drink from. Hmm...

New Year - 2006 - Resolutions

Hee... Just celebrated Christmas and now waiting for 2006 to come! Here are some things that I wish to accomplish or things that I wish may come true during the year to come!

1) Spending more quality time with my parents, brother and Lucky!
2) Be a better child of God and to my parents, a better sister to my brother, a better servant leader to the drill committee, a better friend to all my friends, a better person who treats everyone well and good.
3) Harmony and peace in my family and dar dar's family.
4) Hope to build better relationships with everyone!
5) Score well in my examinations!

Heee... Yeah think that's abt all.. will update when I feel there's more things that needs to be added to the list.

Now for the list of things that I wanna get for myself!

1) White tube top
2) More skirts
3) One pair of Levis jeans
4) More beautiful tops
5) More shoes
6) Stuff from Perlini Silver (Heard that they are having post Xmas sales!)
7) More bags

Hee.. Am giving myself $200 budget for all these things! So I guess I'll have to buy things that I really like the most! :)

Xmas 2005

"Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!..."

Spent an awesome Christmas with Dar and his family. Shall mention who were at the party... Got Auntie Sally, Uncle and Auntie, Joshua, Dar's bro and Charmaine, Dawn and Alicia, Dar's 4th Auntie, Dar's 3rd Auntie and uncle, Marybeth and of course got dar dar and me! Haa... Had lots of fun during the gift exchange as we draw lots to see which one we would get!

Party would be incomplete without yummy yummy food isn't it? Had sushi, honey baked ham, log cake, bee hoon, salmon, chicken.. Simply delicious! Haa.. But I controlled my food intake a little fearing of putting on weight! Haa... Had some aloholic drinks and a bit of beer.. hee..

The clock strikes 12 and all of us exchanged presents and wishing one another "Merry Christmas!"... haa.. Receieved lots of presents from many ppl..

Parents - A hot pink Motorola Razr
Bester Dar Dar - OP violet skirt and a Pierre Cardin pink wallet!
Buddies - A tube top.. hee.. a bit too small ah.. and a necklace in my fav colour pink! and xmas cards, a pair of chopsticks with my fav Precious Moments!
Best pals - key chain, xmas cards!
Auntie Sally - Aroma therapy
Auntie Maria - Spa set
Uncle Cogan - Perfume
Charmaine and Dar's brother - Necklace

Haa.. Thank you all! Am very blessed with all da gifts! It's the thought that counts! Love 'em all!

Meant to have a joyful Xmas dinner with best buddies on da 23rd Dec.. Apologies to Jen, Web, Ying, Carinne and Bryan for the awkward moments. Also wanna apologise to Dar Dar cos I had upsetted him a lot on that day! Sorry honey!

This is one of the best Christmas I ever had! Thank you all who have made it possible!

Hot pink Motorola Razr V3

I have finally discarded my old Nokia phone and got myself a phone which I love veri much! It is really a limited edition (when I bought my handphone set, there were only 5 left!). It's colour, PINK, is one of my favourite colours! (Guess what? Dar wore pink today! He's so hunky!)

Finally, the phone that I always wanted. Goodbye Nokia. Till u come up with a pink phone if not I'll stick to this one! :)

Steamboat!

There was a steamboat at my place last night! Juan, Hui and Ting came over for a gathering and also to celebrate Christmas. Haa. We sure had a fun time catching up with one another while munching on the yummy food that we have prepared.

Thank you Daddy for allowing us to have it at our house!
Thank you Mommy for cooking the soup! Simply delicious!
Thank you Di Di... erm.. haa.. just thank u for being my brother!
Thank you Dar Dar for washing all the food and being able to be there with us!
Thank you Ting for frying the nuggets! Yummy!
Thank you Hui for washing the plates!
Thank you Juan for the log cake! hee!

Ah.. We took serveral shots of ourselves! Will upload them in a while.

A picture taken with my bestest pals.

Just me and dar with the log cake!

The insignificant us.

Bester and I are tiny in this world. But when we are being noticed by anyone, we should feel honored.

I am really glad and happy to know that there are so ppl reading my blog! And for those who have known me for years, thank you for the comments that you all have made. Hee.. I guess you all have seen quite a big change in me huh? For those who do not know me and seen me in the past and yet make comments elsewhere, hmm.. I'll gladly accept any kind of statements made. :)

Of course, the positive us have been getting more strength, grace and love from God. Thank You Lord. :) For taking care the insignificant us.

The Words of the Lord..

Matthew 7 : 1-5
"Do not judge or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you be judge, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of you eye," when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Lord, help me with to lead a Christ like life, Father! It's never easy but I will do it.

Updates on my life.

Let me first upload a pic! hee.. hang on..

Haa.. that's me and my baby at East Coast Park. We went on the 17th Dec, Saturday! Had lots of fun and laughter with him on this special day. He was so sweet. Gave me a bottle with a note inside, just like what I did a year and a half ago. Haa. But I threw the bottle not knowing that we will be together. But dar dar said it's alright. He remembered it at heart. Hee.. Wanna know more about what we did? Can visit his blog at www.johannesswee.blogspot.

Hee. There has been a lot of emotional warfare going on in the house. Hatred was filled in the everywhere. I cannot deny that I was not affected by it, afterall I am still a young teen (uh hum.. haa.. not anymore in a month or so..) and a gal. Though I have been reminded hundreds and thousands of times that I shouldn't, but I can't help but to carry that baggage (bad potatoes) inside me. There are many times I ask help from God to help me grow a forgiving heart but devil overcomes that desire and I eventually let it take control of me.

But now, God has spoken to me once again that He is with me all the while. I just have to open my heart and go back to His words and the truth. I am willing to do that! I am! God help me please.

School? Haa. Have been slacking for almost 2 months. Didn't do much revision and catching up. Am determined to do so once 2006 starts! haa. Peeps, keep me in prayers won't you?

rUmBliNg...

haha.. my tummy is calling for help! No food is inside my stomach. Was thinking whether I should eat my dinner. Am meeting da drill comm ladies for dinner later! hee.. But am afraid of putting on weight and I'm currently quite broke. Sigh.

Hee. No much to update about for the past few days. Just miss my dar a lot! Miss his room and his parents! Haa. Well, I used to stay over at his house quite frequently. But doing so, I miss my parents, brother and my room lots! Haa.. Sigh. But I love the arrangement that Syl and I have come up with.

Mon - Stay at home!
Tues - Meet him in da evening but go home!
Wed - School!
Thurs - Dar coming over to my house!
Fri - Personal time!
Sat - School in the morning and gai gai in the afternoon!
Sun - Stay over at Dar's house!

hee.. Yeah... In this way, will be able to spend more time with my family and friends and he too can spend more time with his love ones! hee..

Missing him deeply now. Sigh. Time for HRM! Tata~

Sigh.

I miss my darling veri much.

Hate me if you want. I beg you not to do it to your only sibling?!

Sigh.

Yawn.

I'm feelin so tired. Perhaps I'm both physically and mentally drained by now. Haa. School is really something that is killing millions of my brain cells. Ouch! Haa. Have been doing some planning of my next week's schedule. Christmas is nearing. Lots of gatherings and dates! Keke. Not with guys, of course but with my sch mates, gb mates, best buddies and pals, family...

Just went shopping with Mom! Haa. Has been a long time ever since we went out together le! Hee. Feel so blessed to have her around with me. Tried to get closer to her when we walk. I like the feeling of being close to her. Wanted to hold her arm but didn't have the courage to do so. Nowdays, you seldom see youngsters holding their parents' hands right? That's pretty sad actually. Perhaps they yearn for our touch and concern too?

Di Di bought home 3 packets of Hokkien Mee. Daddy can't eat prawns so my brother didn't buy. Anyway, he just reached home from his fishing trip. Hee. I am glad that he has some friends to keep him accompany. This way, he won't feel lonely.

Lucky seems a bit sickly today. Didn't finish up the food that we gave her. She even didn't bite her favourite veg, West Australian carrot when we gave it to her! Shux. Gal, you better eat something. Don't try to lose weight like me okie? I know Mommy said you fat fat but you still must eat something! Ha. As if she can read this!? Oh dear. I must be getting really BONKERS!

I was trying to use the sewing machine just now. Mind you, it has been left untouched for donkey years! I heard some weird noise and before I know it there was smoke and buring smell filled my Dad's room! I got a scare of my life! I called for Mommy and she scolded me saying that there's nothing to be afraid of! Am glad that she didn't blame me for spoiling her sewing machine! Sigh. Sorry Mom!

Brother is sleepin now. Oh yah. I'm outside my room. He just moved this tower outside so that it is easier to do his stuff. His birthday is coming soon! Haa. Have already given him a present. Sponsored him for I-Pod Nano. Hee. Happy early Birthday brother!

Sigh. Have been spending quite a lot lately. But I insist so! Haa. It's the season of giving and of course receiving!

WoW!

That was the first reaction when I saw the hot pink Razr a month ago! And when I finally am able to get this handset yesterday, it went out of stock! Utterly disappointed and sad. Sigh.

Changed to a new blogskin! Pinkish.. that's my colour.. hee..

: (

I find myself singing this song over and over again...

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.
He work s in ways we cannot see..
He will make a way for me..

He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side...
With love and strength with each new day...
He will make a way, He will make a way...

Sigh. School! That is my main focus! Other than that, I shall wash my hands off anything.

I am hungry!! hee..

Upset.

Totally emotionally disturbed.

God will be there to help me.

We have to continue this path on our own and of course, God!

Huat ah!

Feel so happy for my dar dar! He went for an appointment this morning and he just called me saying that the guy has actually asked for a quotation from him! Haa.. well that means there's still hope in getting the deal! Yeah..

Dar just called me again saying that there's going to be another appointment this afternoon! Fwah! Feel so happy!!! Hee.. Finally my dar dar has seen some of his efforts being paid off!

Ladies and gentlemen, if you shirt printing services please visit this website for more details: http://yiotexapparel.tripod.com

No matter what, he will give ya the lowest price that you can ever find in the market! The material he provides is also very good! :)

My lunch.

Milo and dumplings and one ma ti shu! :) Cheers everyone!

Yi Ge Ren Shi Mian..

yeah.. haa.. it's 3am in da morning and I'm at Bester's room typing away. He just rearranged his room to this very cool arrangment! Haa.. Some kind like the office way of arranging the furniture. heee... (Can hear dearie snoring..) Poor him.. can't blame that he's so tired tonight. We went shopping for the whole of yesterday. I am tired too.. Just that am too sticky.. Err... Well, fell asleep when I was lying on da bed! haa..

Washed my face to remove the makeup le. Perhaps that explains why I am so wide awake? Beats me.. :)

Dar dar has been busy with designing his website. Peeps, if you need the printing shirt service and it is 40 pieces or more, do come and look for me. Bester will and must try to give you the lowest rate that you can find in the market! I am serious! Do take a look at his webbie and you will roughly know how and why is it so... http://yiotexapparel.tripod.com

I miss my buddies. Saw Carinne on the train while on the way to Akira Warehouse sale! So sweet of her to bring her baby brother out to gai gai! Hee.. She was rushing back to watch the Star Awards and we did catch up a bit on the train! haa.. Not that I've not seen her for a long time cos we just met last Thurs for a shopping spree (ultimate shopping princess is Ying! She has bought Levis jeans, tank top from Hula and Co, skirt from Double Index.. n I think there's more? Can't remember!) haaa.. Miss Wen the most, especially! Haven't seen her for a long long long time... She has just finished her exams and think she's kinda wear out due to the stress and work load? Hee.. Jen will be working from morn till 9pm! Carinne also busy with her promoter's job... Ying will be heading back to work after her last paper on Tues! Sigh. Seems like we are all busy with our things right?

I felt that we are really grown up! Haa.. You know the topics that we chat now are so much of exchanging views about certain issues and lesser of gossips! Is it good or bad? haa... It can mean we have become more mature or we are really catching on our age!

Miss my parents and brother too. Wonder how they are now! Is my brother still awake perhaps using his Apple computer? My parents should be snuggling in bed at this late hour!

The most headache problem that I have now is that I HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT. That is a very sad piece of news to me! My flabby arms! Argh. Sigh. Back to using the gel again!? I am trying to do sit ups and push ups in the morning to tone them up a bit. Will be bringing down the Power Rider from my dad's room so that I can use it while I am at home. Oh ya. I am going to rearrange my room yet again! haa..

Bester said he miss those kids at the montessori! And the kid he misses most is Johnathon! haa.. Me too!

Sigh. Wanna go out with my mommy n daddy! Has been a long while since we all go out together! Will we be able to go out later in the afternoon perhaps to IMM to buy stuff? I dunch noe! hee..

Jingle bell... Jingle bell...

Yahoo! X'mas is finally coming soon.. It's the month of December and the X'mas-y atmosphere is everywhere! So here's my wishlist! (haa.. to those who still do not know what 2 buy.. keke..)

1) Hot pink Motorola Razr V3 (Daddy n mommy are getting me this! Thank you!!)
2) Adidas handbag (Ying has one) or those big big bags
3) Walletshop: wallets, hand pouches, handphone cover
3) Pretty pretty tops and bottoms
4) P.O.A bronze slippers
5) A makeover for my room
6) SLIMMING products are MOST WELCOME!
7) Necklace or pendants!

Err.. still got more.. but can't recall now.. will update again!

It's finally here...

For peeps who have been faithfully reading my blog, they would know that the mobile phone that I am comtemplating to purchase is now finally out in the market! Have this struggle within me whether I should get just this phone or a 3G phone which comes with a 1.3 mega pixel camera function! Sigh. In my mind it says that I should get the cheaper one, which is the hot pink version of Motorola Razr V3... but on the other hand, it is telling me that I should get one that is more value for money which is the Sony Ericsson P600i. Oh dear! Which one should I buy? Girls are really fickle minded! Aren't they? One instance they said they want this and another they insist on that. Shux! Who can help me to decide? My brother suggested that I buy Nokia N70 and he will exchange his phone with mine. Sigh.

I really like the hot pink mobile because it is stylish with the PINK coat but on the other hand a 1.3 mega pixel camera can do me good as I like to take lots of photographs of myself and friends! Sigh. Am thinking of getting a new digital camera too! Mine is getting older and older each year! Should I or shouldn't I change it? Sigh. Another thing I have to waste my brain cells on...

I am getting FATTER! People, I am not joking about this thing. I am getting FATTER and FATTER each day. I hate how I look like now. A pig! Really, that is how I will describe myself. Hate it! Sigh.

Notes, they are everywhere! Sigh. When will I ever finish reading them?

Of course, there are some things which bring me happiness and laughter to my life. My parents, my brother, my dog and not forgetting Sylvester, my buddies, my GB buddies from BBSS and Drill Comm and also my schoolmates.

Met up with Jen, Ying and Carinne at Orchard this afternoon. Without fail, they have sure brighten up my life with their smiles and concern! We are just like close sisters talking almost about anything. But someone is missing! Wen, our another precious sis! Yupz.. She needs to revise for her last paper which is tested tomorrow! We miss her presence so much! Haa. The three of them were so stoning because they had late nights the night before! All of them were at some popular night spots and oh boy, I think they have quite a bit of fun there! haa.. Of course it is definitely not as fun as the 5 of us being together right? Oopz. haa..

Haa.. I miss them all!!!

"...Deck the halls..Falalala..."

heee.. Christmas is just round the corner! It's the season of giving again! Hee.. No no! I didn't mean just presents. Give your love and care to all those people you really care! Give a helping hand to those in need. Share your love with everyone you know of!

Hee.. Am very excited about this year's Christmas! Wanna know why? Cos I already have a series of programs awaiting for me. Going to celebrate with my Drill Comm ppl after our meeting perhaps either on da 14th of 15th! And on the 20th, there's a steamboat with Ting, Hui and Juan. Gonna have a yummy dinner with Jen, Wen, Ying, Carinne at Clarke Quay... Having a camp with dar dar maybe on the 17th and 18th! Having a dinner gathering at Auntie Maria's and Uncle Cogan's place... on the 24th and 25th!

Aint I fully packed with my dates or wat? haa..

Already started my shopping spree. Bought myself a OP skirt which is on 20% offer. (I dun have much money to spend on myself, you know?) Bought some presents for Bester's family already! Hee. Trying to go to more places to give ourselves more ideas what we can buy for them!

Sigh. The only headache I have now is my overweight issue! Have been eating non-stop ever since.. erm.. I dunno when! The flabby arms and spare tyre are back! Shux! Am now on a dieting mode! I am determined to lose those fats and say "bye bye" to them! Hee.. So that I will look good during Chinese New Year and most importantly my 21st Birthday! Haven't planned what I am going to do yet..

Sigh sigh sigh. Studies! Another problematic area... It is now heaps of "mountains" waiting for me to bring them down! Argh. I love to study! Yeah? Sigh.

Yawn... ZzzZzz

Wow! It has been raining ever since yesterday morning? The rainy season is here everyone! You know what that means? Santa Claus is coming to town soon! Haa.. Alright! In Singapore you don't see snow so rain shall replace it instead. Cool.. *Shivering*

Haa.. I am feeling so cold right now. Yup. Stuck in school again.. Waiting for me next lesson to start. Seems like the school is my 3rd home! haa.. First is mine and Syl's... 2nd is Ying's house (the 5 beauties used to call it..) and followed by the school.. I sure have lots of room mates around here! haa.. Ain't funny? Then why am I laughing? Err.. LAMER!

Oh ya.. talking about LAMER.. there's actually a brand LAMER (guess it's pronounced as LA-mer) haa.. Do you how much it cost to buy their cosmetics and facial products? $2000 ++ haa.. Auntie Maria showed me on the magazine that she bought! It's "Style" magazine if you are intending to take a look at it.. haa.. Buy the mag now and get a bag for free.. Same goes for "Female".. haa.. Thinking of buying the "Style" mag as I like the orange bag! haa..

Sigh. Lesson starting soon.. Got to see Abdul again.. haa.. saw him just last night! Shux...

*B*I*N*G*O*

Hee... Guess where am I slacking now? Did I hear someone say in the school? *Ding dong ding dong* You're right!!! I am stuck in the school again. Have to attend the night class for HRM as I missed the lesson last Wednesday.

Went to Beauty World alone just an hour ago. Suddenly feel so lonely and upset. Tears was on the brim of my eyes. Sigh. No idea how much I have missed my parents, my brother, my buddies, hui and ting and juan... If you were to ask me who is the person I miss the most right now, my answer would be SYLVESTER SWEE.

Feel that my life is pretty sad. Study. Study. Study. Well, what to do? I have to accept that fact that I am still a full time student right? Sigh.

Was looking through the photos of my ex-cell group members in ther Friendster profile. Have not gone back to COS(BT) for almost 2 years!? Miss those girls from Rowl.. Know that there isn't Rowl anymore right? It has been given another name? Hee.. To all those Rowlies I know, I miss you all.. Miss those times we have cell together, praying and worshipping God... The happy moments that we all shared.. Haa.. Just love you all ppl!

Sigh.

Sigh.

Failed to stay awake to keep my Dar Dar accompany again. He has been having sleepless nights eversince last week? Each time he will just call out for me to see if he is lucky enough to make me conscious just for a while. Sorry dear! Felt really tired and sleepy.

And now my dearie is able to fall asleep and here I am typing my blog. Just read his blog. Felt very upset. I know that he misses his home and of course very dearly his parents. The long hours that he spent at my house isn't worth it. Sometimes he would just do nothing but use the computer the whole day just to wait for me to come back from school. It is tiring and totally boredom for him to be cooped at home. Poor him.

Are there some pills which I can take to keep me awake on nights that my dar can't sleep?

Ho Ho Ho...

Holidays coming to and end for me.. Yup! I took 1 week break and went Genting and KL to refresh my mind and body! Haa.. Though officially I've already taken 1 month break and gave myself thousand and one excuses why I shouldn't be mugging at some cafe or library... Sigh.

There are lots of catching up to do. HRM for example has got lots of readings which have piled up over the weeks. Not only that, I am supposed to hand in 3 essays because I had skipped the test!!! Sigh. School life is tough if we don't keep up with the momentum that we have started out with.. Sigh.

Enough of sighing. It's time to get to serious work! I will work hard and I must. "Never say DIE" is my motto for the rest of school term. And to all peeps outta who are having their examinations right now, especially to Wen Wen!!!, JIA YOU WOR!!! We all got to hang on and be brave to any obstacles that may come in our way!

Hee... I can feel it! The feeling of being hardworking again! Christmas is coming in another month's time. It's time for me to share more concern and care and love to those whom I love dearly!!!! Ho ho ho...

Just came back from Malaysia trip last Thursday! Enjoyed myself so much with my dar dar and his family. Am so blessed to have such nice friends and aunties and uncles who showed so much kindness and care for me! Especially the special gift that God has given to me... Really appreciated his love for me and for being always taking care of me.. Bester, love ya!

This picture was taken in the coach on our way up to Genting. We stopped at this little hut which we told that we have about 15 minutes to go tandas. oopz! haa.. tandas is toilet in malay.. yeah.. do we have fu qi xiang? I do think we have! haaa...

This was taken in our room. It is the 2nd day in Genting already. Shivering. It was quite cold down there. Enjoyed the scenery that we see outside our hotel! Though we did not stay at the highest level, it feels already very nice to be so high up there. Love the clouds and the mist! Haa.. We tried walking in there and Auntie Sally and Auntie Maria were so cold that I lent them my jacket! haa..but it was a COOL experience!!!

Checking out time. Was looking after their luggages while they all go buy the things that they want.. Haa... Bester took a picture of us. We looked so sweet, isn't it? heee.. Again I feel that we have fu qi xiang!!!!! heee...

Overall the trip was good though there were a few hiccups here and there.. haa.. But there's one thing that I notice.. The customer service provided was erm... shan't say much here. But after this experience, I've learnt to treasure those who provide services for me in Singapore.

Smile!

Guess who is this handsome little prince? Haa.. Bf? nahz.. My brother! He's a grown up man already. Hee. Feel so happy for him that he is so independent owadays! Brother, love you man!

Guess we do look alike in some ways right? haa.. I mean you can see that we have some similiar face features!? haaa.. Next is myself! Showing you the gal who has gained 4 kg ever since 2005~

Can you see the difference!? Sigh. Just came back from a 10mins jog because I have got school later on. Slept quite late last night, yet again. Panda eyes and eye bags are now making me feel like an idiot! Sigh.

Sigh.

Wonder why I am sighing? Yeah. Most of you would have guessed it is related to my studies again. I have two tests tomorrow and not one has been fully revised for. Half here and a quarter there. I am destroying my own future, looking at longer term. Sigh.

I am in a holiday mood. For those who do not know, I am going for a Malaysia trip next week. Be back on the 17 November 2005. Gonna miss a few lessons. Sigh. Wonder if I can catch up... Sigh.

Hey, a part of me is thinking positively, telling me that I can do it. I did it for the past few weeks and now to give up? Isn't a waste? Sigh. Another side is saying that I am a total failure. I do not wish to disappoint my parents nor those who care for me. Sigh.

Am I getting a slight depression? Feel like crying nowadays! Sigh.

Cheer up gal.. God is there with you! And also not to forget my dear family, my dar and my bestest buddies, my best pals, and frenz.. :)

*Courtesy from Jenny, my bestest buddy. Thank you gal!

Jasmine February/13/1985 Female (hehe.. next year is my 21st birthday..Noe wat to do right?)
What do you people think? Does it really reflect a gal whom you all know?

You are Purple Sheep, who is gentle towards people, and likes to take care of others.
You are kind and possess graceful attraction.
You will not oppose to others, and no matter what, you always take a passive attitude.
You don't express your inner emotions easily, and will not actively lead others.
You tend to always take a safer path, and are rather timid.
You will not do anything adventurous.
Your type of women tends to have high aspirations, and hold huge expectation and ideals toward others. Therefore, in contradiction, you may be feeling dissatisfaction on the inside.
Your personality is very cautious, and have observing eyes.
You are good at reading other people's minds and feelings. And you don't get wrong.
You tend to manipulate people by using talent.
You are also very intelligent and have great kowledge.
You are always thinking of interests, before acting.
You tend to be rather temperamental person.
And once you make up your mind, you don't easily change, and can be obstinate.
Although you value relationships with others, you also like being on your own. Therefore you may suffer from your own contradiction.
Although you are a passive sort of person, you do possess perseverance and are a person of action. Once you are on fire, you show unbelievable energy.
You like dressing up, so you are suited to follow your career than staying at home.

Slacker!

"Slacker.. you pig! It's time for you to wake up!!! What do you think you are doing? Always procrastinating your time for revision till last minute? Then what's the point of having a study schedule? Do you hear me!?"

Sigh. I do. This is one part of my brain telling me all these stuff. But the other just can't seem to get the whole brain start working again. Feeling stressed up and fustrated. I can cry over minor things. I kept telling myself that I got to start work again. Moreover, I'll be going for a 5 days 4 nights trip to Malaysia! Will be slacking again! Oh shux.. Jasmine, wake up please!? I beg you!

I am going to put this into action. Didn't go for morning lesson today because I woke up late. No one else to blame but for myself for not setting the alarm! I am determined and with God's wisdom and strength I am sure I can do it! I can! God help me! Thank you Lord.

Oppz.

I started typing at 9.47am. The time shows otherwise. Haa. Was viewing other people's profiles on the Friendster. Friends whom I have not seen for donkey years have all changed so much. Hey, by the way, I got to find lots of my primary schoolmates through Friendster. *Thumbs up*

Had and enjoyable day on the 30th October 2005. Erm... Alright, it was yesterday. Haa. Uncle Matthew and Auntie Karen came over to Bester's house with their kids to spend their afternoon with us. Lots of laughter and joy...We played Big2 and Bester kept losing! (Hey, who can win with those lousy cards?) Haa. But the kids seem a bit bored. Perhaps I have not mingled around with the kids back at the montessori for long hence not knowing how to humor the two young gals. They are much closer to Sebastian and Charmaine and Owl (referring to Joshua, Bester's cousin.) Hee. Went swimming in the evening. I wore my two piece swimming suit for the first time to a swimming pool! Haa. Feel kinda naked and awkward. Nevertheless, I tried to swim as many laps as I can with the "congested" pool.

Haa. Here comes the best part. We had chilli and pepper crabs (again, yeah. Had it the night before) for dinner! Thank you Uncle Cogan for the treat! By the way, now I realised where all my extra 4kg of fats comes from. Haa. Have been always eating good food with Bester's family! Oh mine. Got to exercise more determination in rejecting the feast placed on the dining table.

My life now? Haa. Sigh. Wake up in the morning - Wash up - Do sit ups and push ups - Use the internet (Read blog, Update Friendster and my blog, Check emails.) - Read the bible - Study... So on and forth. Sigh. No life? Nahz! Would be delighted to receive my results next year September if I keep up with the consistent work. I don't believe that I am of low IQ. Haa. Perhaps I am? Sigh.

Jenny must be feeling quite happy now. Such a long blog for her to read during her night shift. Haa. Hey gal, don't tire yourself out alright? Missing you, wen, carinne, and ying!

Times up. It is 10:01am.

[L][i][F][e]

Met up with Carinne, Jenny, and Jing Wen last Thursday evening at Bukit Panjang Plaza. Wow. It has been like donkey weeks since we last met. Haa. Miss them dearly. Buddies are always buddies. They just know you inside out. Awww... Simply love them all...

Here's a glimpse of my schedule for the rest of the year...

HRM test on topics 1-3: Next Wednesday, 2 Nov 2005
PBF test on topics 4-5: Tuesday, 8 Nov 2005
POA assignment due on Saturday, 12 Nov 2005
Genting/KL trip: 13 - 17 Nov 2005
Little Wonders Montessori Concert: Friday, 25 Nov 2005
Brother's birthday: Thursday, 15 Dec 2005
Snow City Trip: Friday, 16 Dec 2005
Christmas Dinner at Clark Quay: Friday, 23 Dec 2005
Cousine Jasmine's Wedding: Saturday, 23 Dec 2005
Christmas Eve with Sylvester: Saturday, 24 Dec 2005

Target: Finish revising for all subjects by end of 2005.
Lots of reading up.. Lots of revision... Lots of things to do.. Sigh.

Urge.

Haa.. Urge to blog right now! It's tea break right now! Yeah. I am in school. Am grouchy. Forgotten to bring my contact lenses and makeup kit. Argh. Sigh.

I do not know if it is an excuse. But I feel that the devil has been working in me for the past few months that I have not been communicating with God. Hot tempered, non-smiley faces..etc.. Have made a couple of people unhappy lately.

Have been praying for a new life again and I thank God for His patience and love for me that I will be able to lead a rightful life again! Am more cheerful now, able to open up more to people and trying to treat everyone better in whatever ways I can! All these to be done not with my own strength but His!

God will make a way.. When there seems to be no way...

Was watching the chinese version of "True Courage". Learnt this again, that God will always there to pave the path for you when you think that you've already reached the end of the road. Indeed, God is great and almight.

I simply love God. Amen.

God's words..

His words, so true and sweet. Who can claim He's God except He Himself? Love Him with all my heart. He's my Lord, my saviour, my planner. He made me realise certain things that I have not known before. He can also make me lose things that I have if I don't treasure them. I am afraid of Him as much as I love Him.

Relationship. An area that I am weak in. Communication is such a basic rule in a relationship and I fail to understand. Not once but many times. I admit I am a loser becaused I fail to change even after so many times of reminders that Bester gave me. I can talk so much with my friends and yet I can't share enough with him. "You can be a friend to anyone, but you can't share your life with someone." That really hit me. Sharing my life... That is what it is all about in a relationship. And I failed to see that.

Lord, I put my life into Your hands, again. Help me with Your guidance and strength and Your wisdom. My life, my relationships with people, my school work... I lift them all up to you. Clense me and those evil thoughts that is in my heart. Make me new again. I want to be a new child once again. Lord, I can feel Your arms around me. I feel so comforted. Thank You Father. Thank you so much. You didn't forsake me, I know. Thank You. Amen.

To all my friends: Treasure and cherish whatever things that are in your life now. Do not regret after losing them. It will be too late then..

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

Dar bought this book last night. Read a few paragraphs from it and feel that it makes lots of sense as in why couples quarrel and have conflicts every now and then. We are from different worlds and that, explains our differences. In a relationship, we tend to forget this fact thus not respecting each other's differences. *Thumbs up for this book* Ling is still reading. Of course it will be my turn next to catch up with this book.

Hey, to all people who are in love outta: Borrow the book from me if you want! *Smile* But... Wait till I finish reading it, ok? Ok?

Had a wonderful time with Bester's family last night. (Just rememberd! Got to call home to inform my parents that I am safe in this world! Don't want them to worry for me!) Had dinner at this coffeeshop beside the cinema at AMK central. Had ban mian and otak and century egg! Based on this amount of food that I consume, guess most of you would have realised that I am gaining weight?! Yes!! From 50kg to 53.5kg! Shux! Gonna start my exercise regime, soon!? haa. Enuff of me complaining about my weight. Anyway, who cares? haa. After the meal, we went NTUC to buy some groceries. Had only 15 minutes to do the shopping before it closed!

Mobile phones. Everyone is changing their phones recently. Ha. Hui got a new phone from her boss (lucky her!). Sebastian has got a new phone. Auntie Maria has got Nokia 6101, the one which I felt like buying. And my brother got this Motorala Razr V3. Haa. Bester is comtemplating of getting a Panasonic SA-6. *tom yam aroma floating in the air* (oopz. haa. Uncle Cogan is cooking tom yam soup! Yummy!)

Here's the picture of the phone I wanna buy! Motorola Razr V3 Hotpink version!. It's not out in the market yet! Doesn't it look cool, sleek, etc but girlish at the same time?! Haa. I think it's nice! Just need the patience to get the phone. And I will purchase it if it doesn't come with a too pricey tag. (Woke up like 2 hrs ago and I haven't brushed my teeth!) Hee. Sounds disgusting huh? Thank God that you guys are reading my blog and not talking to me!


Having late nights nowadays. Revising my work, keeping dar accompany, cleaning his room, watching late nite shows, etc. Pimples popping out lately. "Big Aunty" came for a visit. haa. *Phew* It has been quite a busy week with so much things to do and to accomplish. Proud to say that I have finished reading up on my marketing notes! Haa. Finished half of my Economics assignment. 3 tests coming up. One on the next week, and 2 on the following week. Marketing assignment is due next Friday! Sigh. "Stressed up?" you may ask. Yeah. I am. Kind of. Had already set a goal that I want to finish revising those that I have learnt in year 2005 by 31st December.

Won't want to hug the Buddha's leg at the last minute. That won't do me good. Sigh.

Missing my friends right now. Jenny, Wen, Carinne and Ying: I miss you gals lots! Can't wait to meet you people this coming Thursday!

Ting, Hui, Juan: Miss ya gals too. And if you gals are reading my blog, here's what I wanna say. Ting ah, don't think too much of relationship stuff le! Cheer up. Hui, don't tire yourself out during work k? Juan, good luck for your upcoming examinations.

Times up! Church.. Blood donation.. Here I come!

Mugging...

Exams coming really soon.. Time passes even faster than I expected. Sigh. Well, seriously I'm not utilising my time fully! Wasting quite a bit of precious time say rite now.. should be studying rite? Ha. So what am I doing here, typing away?

No idea. Sigh.

Will start reading up in a while then. Sigh.

Wrinkles? R they showing up on my face soon? Guess so... Sigh...

Extra Extra...

Feeling extremely down and irritable for the past week. PMS is haunting me again. It's one of the worst experiences that I ever had. Especially the case for this morning... I was on the verge of crying.. Feeling tired and weak and sick! Thoughts of skipping school soon filled up my mind. But I brushed them off thinking how much I'll have to catch up if I miss those lessons..

Yes. I'm stuck in the school. Do I sound grouchy? I am! School is sucky! Every student may agree with this statement. Notice I used "may" that's because there are some who actually love to study and be in school! "Feaks".. word that can use on them! Seems like a personal attack.. Apologise for that aloofness in me..

Talking about attitude, mine sucks! I have got attitude problem. There's something wrong up there in my brain! Wires connected wrongly, impulses sent to the wrong place..etc. It's a big mess! Hey ppl... I'm shouting here!!! I feel terrible. Argueing with ppl with my senseless nonsesne! I sincerely apologise to those I have offended!

I am still grouchy, very indeed! Sigh. (Sulking...)

Updates:
1) Lagging behind my schedule in my studies. Seems as if it's impossible to catch up with my reading up and revision with my lecturers' pace!
2) Communication problem with the people around me...
3) Stress. Comes mainly from school...
4) Took up tuition assignment. At lost on how to help the kid.
5) Not living a healthy lifestyle... Deep fried food, soft drinks, tidbits... Made me put on so much weight.
6) Missing all my friends.. They all seem so busy with their stuff.. Jus like me..
7) Has been a lousy girlfriend.. daughter... student!
9) Life? Many goals to attain but will I be able to achieve them?

Sigh.

This long blog is especially for Jenny who has to work night shift for whole of this month. Touched? *Grin* Tag me k? Email me too! Will reply yours shortly.

To Bester dar, sorry for my moodswings and being so argumentative... and insensitive..

Stopped typing right now. Sigh.

I'm singing in the rain...

haaa.. It's not that I risk catching a flu and sing in the rain.. Just saying that it's raining now! haaa... I limp when I walk.. (Lamer..)

(snorez...snorez..) haaa... Can hear my little piglet pigging away..

Nothing much to do but catching up on my studies.. Have been exceptionally slacking for da whole of this week.. Yeah.. heee.. hey... better get going before my eyes are fixed on the computer and I'll waste my time away, again! :)

>.<

(tick tick tick tick) can hear the faint ticking sound from my watch as I'm typing away. Feeling tired, stressed and bored. Bester said he's not meeting me. Feeling disappointed and sad. He didn't say anything else but except to call me tonight.

Feeling lost and nothing to do.. Well of course I do have things to do like studying and revising for my work. Haiz.. oh well..

Death...

Just read of my friend's blog.. Didn't know that her had passed away a mth ago. I kind of know how it felt when your dearest ppl ard aren't with you anymore now and in the future. (Sorry gal.. hope you're feeling much better now.)

I'm afriad too.. That one day my parents will pass away. I depend on them a lot actually. They are the ones who supported me all the way ever since I was a baby. They are in their 60s already. We are so emotionally attached and if that day comes, think I'll cry a lot..

I love them.. dearly!

What's with me?

Can anyone understand me as much as God does? If fact He knows everything cos He is the one who created me!

I'm a person with strong personalities. Stubborn.. always stick to my principles! And there are just certain things which I can't shurg off.. This is bad.. especially when the situation involves my love ones! Sometimes, they are understanding enuff to bear with my nonsense.. but there are times that they just can't stand my da xiao jie pi qi! Got to apologise to many of my friends.. especially to Bester.. da one who kenna da stupid things but always giving in to me.. Sorry dear..
He has been unhappy lately because I wasn't nice to him. It's all my fault.

Life.. What is it all about? The purpose? When will God reveal to me His purpose for me to come to this world. I'll be praying hard everyday. I need His strength to help me go thru my life each day. I'm weak but He is strong.

Striving to become a better student, child, sister, friend n wife-to-be.. Hopefully one day, when i take up all these roles, I'll be able to become a better person..

Wasting of time..

Haiz.. that's what I'm doing now! Reached home at about 8am but haven't even started studying! Haven't done a lot of reading up over the weekend! Practically I've been slacking! That's terrible! Exams is jus like 8 mths away.. and I've to mange 6 units at a time! Stress.. I'm stressed up!

Bester was quite upset recently.. Well, guess it's all my fault for being insensitive to his feelings. (I'm very sorry dar..) I have learnt a lot through all these mths of our relationship. You taught me to be a better person. We can chat about anything.. though sometimes we may get into arguements! haa.. We gave each other emotional support.. Just want to tell you that I appreciated you a lot.. Thank you Syl..

Okie.. I promise in another 10 mins and I'll be gone alrite?

(Lucky the playful one ran out last nite to go play with other dogs!)

Still studying and revising..

When will I be able to get back on track again? Never! It seems like I'm always behind my schedule! It's hard.. really hard!

Study study study!

Arghz.. this is what I practically do everyday! Okie.. perhaps not everyday cos sometimes I procrastinate till it's my sleeping time and by then I would be too tired to revise through my work.

(Guess where I am now? Where else? School library!)

I'm really determined in gettin good results but will it turn out the way I want it to be? I am afraid.. scared of failing my exams and having to resit for the paper again! This fear is driving me to work hard and study smart! Praying to God for His strength and grace to be upon me.

Recently just changed my contact lenses and spectacles! So exicited! I'm going to collect it later from the optical shop. Did I mention that my degree is now 325 for each eye? Wow! In a few years time and I will be blind!!

Why can't we use compunter during our exams? haaa.. Imagine all of us typing away.. The sound of the keyboard! Awww.. haaa..

Was lost but now am found...

Lucky was unfortunately lost on the 19 September 2005, at about evening time. My parents went frantically searching for her but to no avail. Even though my neighbour helped us, she was no where to be found.

First thoughts that came to my mind, did she drop into the drain and get washed away? Did she get stuck in the drain? Was she ran down by a car? Was she abused and been thrown into the dustbin? Negative thoughts as you would see..

I cried upon hearing the news on Tuesday. Immediately I went to do up a poster to be pasted all over my neighbourhood. Daddy helped by distributing the posters to his friends. Mommy stood at the bus stop and see if anyone would bring her for a walk.

But Tuesday was also a futile search. I cried to sleep that nite. I prayed hard that Lucky has got a place to sleep and eat. It was raining cats and dogs.

On Wednesday morning, a man called my hp and my mom answered. He said that he has found a dog pacing down and up along the road. He picked her up and brought her home to feed and wash her. I am thankful for that.

Finally I saw my precious doggie once again! Will try to spend more time with her in future. This experience makes me treasure those people whom I love a lot. My dad, mom, brother, Bester, Lucky, Jen, Wen, Carinne, Ying, Ping Hui and those friends I've made throughout my 12 over years of school life. I love all of you. Muackz.

JB trip...

Afraid of going there by bus for the first time, I nearly cried. But I managed to control my flow of tears when we were at the custom. Sylvester was such a sweetie, he kept assuring me that everything is going to be alright. He taught me what would be happening at each custom and what we they have over at Malaysia.

Finally, I heaved a sign of relief. We all reached JB safely. Had some tim sum which tasted very nice before we set off to the hotel. haaa.. Uncle Cogen brought us to lots of places. From shopping centers to the seafood restaurant and to the satay stall.. and of course the billard center in the 24hrs restaurant.

Food.. we had lots of them! Yummy... Chilli crab.. Satay.. Prata! fwahz.. Imagine the amt of fats we had already put on..

Shopping was fun.. but just can't find anything that I like! I cried... because I was scared... afraid... me in a foreign land..

Overall.. I enjoyed the trip totally.. and my best friend.. my dar dar! Thank you for all the things you have done for me! I love ya..

Yawnz..

yeah.. this is what I've been doing ever since I woke up this morning! Yawn yawn yawn.. hahaha. Does that make you feel like yawning too? Oopz.. Apologies..

hmmmz.. today dar dar went back to camp... feeling rather well... Can't help but to worry for him. It was just like 2 days ago he fell ill and had to go on drip! Morever he's doing duty today! Will be praying for him that he will be fine and I know that God will be looking after him.

Will be going for human resource mangemenet module later! OOooOOoo.. can't wait! haha.. It's a new unit..

Busy day...

Sylvester woke up having a upset stomach and vomitted a few times... Took him to see his family doctor... Diagnosed with a stomach flu.. He took medicine.. But hours after he came back, he had a high fever of 38.8 degress celsius.. Helped him to cool down by a few towels and also a icepack..

But after a few futile attempts, we've decided to go Tan Tock Seng Hospital.. By da time, Syl was tired and with whole of his body aching.. Poor dar dar.. he was being put on the drip for 2 hours! But he couldn't stand the boredom and within an hour.. he come out of the room.. haha..

Saw lots of people coming in and out of the A&E department.. well.. saw many elderly mostly! Felt so sad for them that I nearly cried.. If Uncle Cogen (Syl's dad) isn't there to help us out at the hospital.. I would have cried.. and broke down.. Cos I didn't know how to help Sylvester! Dar is so brave! He went thru all these..

Oh yah.. spent most of the afternoon there.. so didn't have time to do my revision! Arghz.. Think I'm still lagging behind! I'm dead.. haha..

Do pray for Sylvester's speedy recovery.. and of course for his grandma too.. She's lying in the hospital bed for days already..

arghz...

was trying to upload some pictures but failed! There were some errors.. which I dunno what they are.. cos it wasn't stated in the error msg!!! Should I download the HELLO software..which is used to upload photos on Blogger? well.. I just reformatted my computer! Arghz.. there was some problem with my IE..

Sorry Joey and Mengru and Sokling and Yawling.. hahaa.. Didn't go for the officers retreat.. hope you ladies have learnt lots of things! Had lots of fun too huh? haaa.. Miss u gals all.. Aiai.. miss ya a lot too!!!

Heyz.. don't you find it strange? haaa.. It's Saturday nite.. and why am I sitting in front of the computer blogging away? Dar is having AHM tml.. hehehe.. so he got to stay in camp.. so far so good.. He just called to say that he couldnt sleep.. hahaa...

Miss Jenny and gals too! Hey Wen and Jen.. sorry that I didn't join you ppl today! N Yang.. sorry ah! haaa.. now is I MIA bah? haaa..

Must thank Auntie Maria and Uncle Cogen.. for the yummy meal that we had just now! And also wanna thank Charmaine and Sebastian for buying da cake..

hmmmz.. kk lah.. guess there's nothing much to update le! Take care all.. :)

A new start...

A new sch term and hopefully a new start... Taking 6 units will be triple of hardwork..effort and focus! Can I do it? Will be revealed in next year's examination results...

Suddenly feeling so motivated to get good results.. have got lots of plans but can I do it? haiz.. I'm feeling so tired actually.. I'm a person with 3 minutes passion.. (chinese would understand what I'm trying to say)

hmmz.. Cannot! Must tell myself that I can do it!! Jasmine, jia you.. I'm sure you can do it! You are not a stupid gal.. u noe? With hard work and effort I am sure you can perform.. and hopefully excel! Jia you!!!

Trying.. Tried... Tired..

harlow ppl.. haven't been blogging for quite a few days huh? Well... nothing much to update though.. still not in a very good mood lately!

(Hey Karen.. dun be sad too ya? But I'm sure u did better than me!)

Hmmmz.. Went for Charmaine's bday celebration yday evening.. Food tasted yummy and superb! (Hey gal.. thanks for da meal! Really enjoyed ourselves that nite.. Hope u like da gift from Bester and I!) I'm now starting to think how to celebrate my birthday! Another 5 mths more! Yeah.. not even half a year..

Before I even start to think of that.. I'm reflecting on my studies! How am I going to survive in another 2 years in SIM!? I would very much want to get a First Class honours but I didn't do well in my passing papers! Arghz.. Someone help me? Haiz.. Guess it all voice down to my working attitude n everything! Come on Jasmine! Where's your fighting spirit?

If I have to do well.. I better start working hard now! Uni is far too slacking for me! jia you gal!! You can do it!!! You can!! Yes!!! I can!!! well.. hopefully?

Depressed...

just gotten back my results.. please.. stop asking me how well I did for my exams!!!!

Fun and laughter filled gathering...

yeah.. as u can guess from the title of the blog! Jen, Wen, Me, Syl and Byran had lots of fun this evening...

It all began with me meeting up with Jen at Clementi.. Saw a few person during my bus ride... Firstly I saw Lavania.. then Desmond saw me.. (kekee.. didn't see him though..) Jen went to buy a pair of jeans for his brother! Wow.. such a nice sister go where to find rite? hahaha.. then we had Rotiboi for lunch! hehehe..Jen doesn't like coffee but surprisingly.. she does like the taste of the bread!

hehehe.. went JE entertainment KBox after that... Cos we were quite early hence we were just hanging out at the ice skating rink.. hehehe.. Brought back lots of memories for both of us.. we used to come in groups of 4 for a session of skating! hahaha.. those were the days... Not so much of responsibilities and stress... anywayz.. singing with Jen and Wen (who came 2 hours later due to her work discussion..) is a joy to me.. Just have to enjoy ourselves and dun have to worry whether we are singing in tune or not.. hehehe.. yeah! Too bad Ying and Carinne can't join us! If not it would be much more fun than this!

Syl and Byran met us gals at the Pizza Hut.. We had not 1 but 2~!!! hahaha.. Cos we did a feedback to the manager saying that the pizza crust is far too thin and there isn't much cheese on top of it! Hehehe.. well.. ended up she did the pizza by herself! Coolz.. good quality service! As for the pizza.. it tasted and looked so much better!

Sandwiches!

hahaha.. what a title for this blog.. hehehe.. well.. I'm now working temp.. (keke.. actually is for 3 days..) for a shop selling sandwiches! hehehe.. What's my job scope? oh.. nothing much..jus walk around the area with the board hanging on me.. and distributing the flyers!

huh.. this kind of job I also do ah? hahaha.. yah.. for da experience.. n of course I'm now in need of money... erm.. as in trying to save up lah! hahaha.. yupz!

(burp) jus had my lunch cum dinner.. OOoooOO.. Feeling so full now.. dar dar is already at my house.. pigging away.. yeah.. he's sleeping.. can't blame him! He worked for the whole day leh.. tiring for him! His chicken rice is in da kitchen.. waiting for its fate! hahaha.. to be in my dar's stomach!

hmmmz.. Went to da library this morning..! Hey..I said I WENT TO THE LIBRARY! You heard me right! hahaha.. For the first time, I actually borrowed books from the SIM library! hahaha.. Nothing unusual.. jus that it's my FIRST time borrowing books from there.. hahaha.... Guess it's da stress bah! the stress of me going to graduate in the year 2007.. that's my target! no matter how tough or hard it is I'm going to achieve that! and of course with quality results.. hahaha...

kk.. will keep u ppl updated of my results n everything.. yeah.. receiving it pretty soon..

Drill Committee...

hiya ladies n gentlemen! Introducing to you, the Girls' Brigade Committee~ (clap clap) hahaha.. got someone missing though.. she's none other than our chairman Ms Ng Yaw Ling.. hahaha..


I gotta thank the ladies who had helped me during PnD service! Sokling hurt her finger while helping...Sorry Sokling and thank u so much for your help! Thank you Joey and Jami!! Thank you thank you!!!!
Hey gals.. I know that we'll still be having lots of fun and laughter after 40 years rite!? Hahhaa.. The BESTEST friends I've made in GB!

Still up.. yeah..

haiz.. yupz.. I'm still mugging on my notes... not that I have a test tomorrow! But just that I've got so much readin to do that I haven't finished mine! Arghz..

A new blog skin!

yeah~ hahaha.. there's Mickey Mouse craze going on out there.. so how can I not change my blogskin to a Mickey Mouse theme? Hmmmz.. I'm still not really satisfied with it.. hehehe.. but dunno what to do lor..

Sweet mommy helped me cooked a bowl of "mian xian" though I told her I'm not hungry.. hehehe.. da truth is I dun wanna eat.. Trying to lose weight! But I guess she knows the reason but just dun wan me to starve myself!

hehehee.. later I'll be going out ie if I can finish reading my notes! hahaha.. Till now I've only little knowledge about Soiciology! I'm dead.. hehehe.. Need to do a project too! arghz.. Going library later to do some reasearch on that! hmmmz..

Not much update! Perhaps I'll write more later? Stay tuned...

Extra! Extra!

hahaha.. had a great time hanging out with my buddies and friends yesterday... Was celebrating Desmond's n May's bday.. Get to catch up with one another.. Was a great joy when we are all together, again, chatting and chatting and chatting... well.. and also to mention about things that used to happen to us! hahaha..

my Buddy J has got a bf! Feel so happy for as she has found her someone who loves her.. Got to meet up with them yesterday and my observation is that B will definitely treat my Buddy J veri well! (For Buddy J, he's a nice lad! Doesn't seem to be a coy guy to me.. hehee..)

Buddy JW just started sch.. hehehe.. buddy JW, if you are reading this, jia you for your new school term.. I know tough times is starting again for us but we'll "jian chi dao di" rite? yeahz!

Buddy C is having fun with her sch, I guess? hahaha.. She's a bright kid.. Dun have to study much also can get straight As! hehehe. Buddy C, jia you too okie? N got any good lobang must tell me hor.. erm.. things such as sales n stufF? hahaha..

Buddy PY is going Bangkok with Desmond..Terrence and Sherine.. hahaha.. all of us have already asked them to bring some things back for us.. As for me, I've begged Buddy PY to help me get a handbag or a bag! hehehe..Thank you Buddy PY!


Well.. guess it's kinda hard for us to get back to the life we used to lead.. like always hanging out @ coffee bean and just chit chatting! hahaha.. haiz..

Superb weekends...

It was BOTC drill last sat.. had lots of fun! Finally get to catch up with da ladies I haven't met up with for so long!!! Like my ai ai Jami, Oilam, Joey, Mengru, Yawling, Sokling! Coolz.. yeah.. lots of fun and laughter.. and fellowship! Went Geylang, YongHe (da famous dou jiang you tiao) for supper.. Dar dar came to join us too.. (was so happy and grateful that he came all da way from his home to come look for me..) Thank you Ms Png for da treat! Thank you Joey for driving us there and da ladies back home after that.. Hehehe.. Saw Carinne's (my best buddy's) bf Jia Rong and dar's bmtc mates happen to be from my sec sch as well.. hahaha..

da world is that small! hahaha..

Slept till Sunday afternoon.. guess dar and me must be veri tired.. hahaha. Spent da whole day @ my house.. Had lots of yummy food.. Ordered 933 golden pillow.. well, it's actually bread with curry chicken but it tasted good.. A free meal though.. cos da delivery man was quite late by da time he got to my house.. Both dar n I felt quite bad abt it.. afterall he's earning a living.. I know how tough it is to work.. $$$ is hard to earn... (so to da kids out there.. dun anyhow spend ur parent's $$$ hor!)

hahaha.. Can't wait to go on a holiday with Syl's family! Well, it's so called my first time on a holiday with them.. Remembered that I used to go Malaysia with my parents n brother too.. but we would stay over at our relatives house.. so that hols mood wasn't that intense.. hahaha..

kkz.. That's all for da updateS! Take care..

Wazzup?

hehehe. yo yo yo.. wazzup!? Arghz? what's wrong with me dude!? oopz.. here I go again!

Was with dar dar last nite.. Had a tasty meal @ da Pizza Hut.. hahaha... Was savoring our triple cheesy crust pizza.. n hamster was so cute..nibbling away da cheese that oozed out of the crust.. hehehe.. but all thanks to dar for this wonderful treat!

n yet another good decision made by him.. we went to watch "Must Love Dogs".. nice show!!! Simply love it cos lots of cute dogs (erm hmm..n not hunks) for you to keep a look out for! hehehe.. n there is this particular dog who was simply so adorable.. just like my good old Lucky...

Mentioning about her.. Recently she has been not her usual self.. Well.. usually when I come home she will get all excited.. Very hyper that kind.. but nowadays it seems that she has toned down a bit.. but if i pretend to "beat" her she gets very frighten and jus play dead, flat on da ground.. hmmz.. wondering if it's bcos got ppl beat her up in da middle of da nite n we didn't noe.. arghz.. Or is she suffering from some illness? But she can eat and play with you (well.. when you initiated it..) so I doubt it.. hmmz. I wonder..

I love dogs.. Used to have a German Shepherd and a mongrel.. and a "lost but found" dog.. the sherpherd is called "Joe" and da mongrel "Lucky" and da other one.. well.. mommy loves da name "Lucky".. so we named it "Lucky"! hahaha.. kinda miss Joe and the 2nd Lucky.. haiz.. wonder how they have been... In da hands of good owners? I hope so! God, please keep them safe and sound..

Hmmms..

hehe.. Finally got to jog this morning... but it was quite a short distance.. Usually will jog from my house to Gombak MRT station and back to my house again.. but for today's journey, it has been reduced to half da usual route...hahha.. nvm.. it's a good start isn't it?

hmmmz. tidy up my room a bit.. trying to make it have this veri comfy feeling.. something like stepping into a hotel room that kind? hahaha.. dunno if it's possible but will keep trying.. kekez..

oh yah.. didn't mention that I've bought a new pair of shoes.. U.R.S.. brown with pink ribbon.. Syl said that I've got an unique taste.. hahaha.. I'm created uniquely by Him! hehehe..

these few days have been going well and good.. not many hiccupz.. saw Lydia's precious daughter on her Friendster's pics.. Grace looks simply adorable! hehee.. Congrats Lydia! hehehe.. awww..

So many things to do...

Phew.. They are like so many things that I have to do but so little time to accomplish all in one day!

- Tidy up my whole house and room.. (All these cannot be done w/o my brother's help cos I need him to clear his stuff which is all over the place. Going to exchange a cupboard with him)

- Go jogging..and doing exercise.. Intending to do that everyday! I hope..

- Recopy my sociology notes into the newly bought exercise book that looks so cool..

- Read the bible and pray daily...

- Be a good daughter, sister, friend, gf.. (errr.. I think I've to tone down a bit.. My temper is horrigible!)

- Go buy some stuff from IKEA... (seems like it is my fav place now!)

hehehe.. Help! Think I'm getting this "tidy-ur-place" syndrome! Errr... you have to keep your place tidy and clean, all the time! Arghz.. HelpZ!!!

Here I am Lord...

Lord I offer my life to you..
Everything I've been through!
Use it for You glory!!
And Lord I offer my days to You..
Giving my praise to You!
As a pleasing sacrifice!
Lord I offer You my life...

Things in the past, things yet unseen..
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true..
All of my hopes.. all my acclaim...
The joy and the pain...
Are lifted to You!!!

Thank you Jesus.Father and the Holy Spirit..

"It's over.. it's over.."

NDP 2005 is finally over!!! Missing all da gals...

Not at home at the moment.. yeah yeah!

Being positive!

Okie.. I admit I'm a person who thinks rather negatively but when it comes to consoling others, I'll try to make them think more positively! Strange isn't it? Was trying to take a cab yesterday n it was half an hour's time b4 we all gather @ GBHQ! Was praying that a cab would come fast! Dar comforted me... Trying to make me think positively but I guess I snapped at him! Sorry!

Think all these while when things happen, certain negative thoughts were weaved in my mind! For example, dar jus got his room kinda 'renovated' then I'll keep thinking that he doesn't like to come to my room anymore.. That's one of the reasons why when we tidied up my room I was kinda sulking! arghz..

I've got to be more positive! Come on gal... What happen to the old Jasmine who used to be so bubbly!? Arghz.. Come back gal... And not only to be your usual self but to God too! Don't pray just because you need His help! Yeah.. I need God to set things right in my life! (Suddenly, I prayed to Him! Felt so nice to be in a conversation with Him!)

Here's the reply..

Dar dar asked me not to reply his msg.. cos scared later wake his buddy.. jus wanna tell him that I feel comforted by his words.. and I know that Father in Heaven is there to watch over me...

jus now was quite a scary experience.. Ppl.. it's really highly advisable not to drive in fatigue! Blurry vision, non-concentration on the roads.. All these are hazards not only to yourself but to other road users too! So be considerate always!

hehehe.. Good nite ladies.. Good nite gentleman..

Inconsiderate drivers!

arghz.. some drivers just want to be fast and faster... Can't they wait even for one minute? As if that one minute really matters? Perhaps is not the speed.. is the waiting time? Or is it because of their personality? Hmmz..

Dar dar is fast asleep now. So here I am typing my blog while waiting for him to wake up. I didn't take out my contact lenses for the whole of last night.. Have been wearing it ever since last morning... Felt so uncomfortable this morning... with debris keep piling up around my eye.. arghz.. yucky feeling.. makes my vision blur too.. yuckz!

The stupid cough is killing me! It's killing me! arghz..

First day back to school.

hehehe... Sociology! Tot it was a dry and boring subject! But guess what? I'm beginning to fall in love with this module! Yupz... It's the systemic study of human society... Basically it will be like doing a research on certain norms that happens in our daily routines..

Need an example? Say drinking coffee.. Why do some of us drink coffee? Coffee as everyone knows that it contains a drug caffine.. So why is that that when we drink coffee we are not caught for committing a crime? hehehe.. hmmz.. Something for us to think about?

Hey... I love to think! Somehow I feel that this subject is kinda similar to General Paper? It requires you to process and to think why things happen in certain ways.. yeah.. hehehe.. Gender and social class.. which one will affect you more? Think about it again! Keke.. Tag me if u wanna do more discussion k?

Coolz.. I'm getting all excited for school again! hehehe.. Haiz.. if only da same goes for my passion for God too.. it's kinda going downslope nowadays! haiz..

hehehe.. "It's a happy day! And I praise Lord for the weather..."

WoW!

wow.. was reading thru my past entries and actually found out that my command of english was actually better then.. Arghzz... After reading through the past few entries, I feel that those are actually written by a secondary school girl who is trying hard not to make too many mistakes in terms of grammer and etc..

hehehe.. anywayz.. Time flies... It has been a year plus ever since I started blogging.. Those memories that had been typed out will always remain in my mind.. Especially my invovlement in NDP and my relationship with God and Sylvester... wow! Those are the most awesome experiences that I ever have so far! I think I've grown up quite a bit.. well at least I'm now kinda more mature! Knows how to think a bit more.. yupz? hehehe..

okie.. I'm going to try out this picture upload function that was recently (erm? rite?) added to this blogger thingie! hehehe.. here comes!




okie ladies and gentlemen, introducing to you one my best buddies, Jenny Ong!!! (*Applause~*)hehehe.. She has been my bestest buddy ever since Sec 2! yeah baby.. da one who lent me a listening ear me when I was down or in trouble! The da one who encourage me when I didn't do well for my exams... The da one who understands me so well.. And from my voice she can immediately tell you whether I'm crying or not! She's da one.. none other than my best friend! Hehehe..

hehehe... Kinda miss my 4 bestest buddies rite now! heheehe.. But I'm glad that we'll be meeting up for the promotion lunch thingie! Can't wait for Sunday to come.. Hmmmz.. hehehee..

*pHeW*

A sigh of relief for everyone... The tension was great... Well @ least for me... Bcos I haven't come across such things before... Just glad that both the brothers have talked things out and building their relationship up again. God is in control of everything, I'm praying hard..

Last night, Syl asked me.. "Aren't you afraid of certain things like u noe.. those weird and horrifying stuff?" hehehee.. Most of time though I'm afraid, but I know with God who's in my heart, I would have no fear against anyone except for Him, the Almighty one! hehehe..

Same thing, say when I quarrel with Syl, most of the time I would be thinking is because I didn't put things into His hands and always do things in my way.. and that's the reason why we have arguements so often! Have heard many testimonies about how God has changed their lives when they live the life that God wants to lead..

Harlow Sebastian.. noe from Syl that u read my blog... Anywayz, if you do happen to read this entry, jus wanna ask how's ur leg injury? Getting better? Do take care! yup yup... : ) Hope da 4 of us can hang out more often.. To understand each other even better yeah? :) hehehee..

hehehe... another sigh of relief for Ms Angeline n officers and all the NDP gals! Another 1 practice and actual and we'll regain our freedom! Ahhhz.. Freedom! hahahaa.. Am I making it sound too erm.. uninteresting to come for NDP practices!? Hey hey ladies from the Girls Brigade.. n especially to those who are intending of participating next year, it's very fun and cool! Though there's sweat during the rehearsals.. and of course the scoldings... but other than that, the fellowship with one another is definitely a wonderful experience! Not forgetting the KFC and Pizza Hut we had! hehehe.. guess some of us may have grown sideways a bit? hehehe..

I will miss NDP'04 and NDP'05 ladies... Next year won't be in! hahahaa.. Contract is up! hehehee..

A new blog skin!

yeah ppl... so exciting rite? I'm having a new blogskin! Piglet this time round.. like the pink background... okie now guess what? i'm using my brother's computer! Yupz yupz yupz.. okie... seldom I'll get to use this com.. cos when he's around, the area around his computer desk becomes a prohibited area! anywayz.. his work area is cool... like as if you're working!

time check.. time now is 4.45pm.. ppl are getting ready to go home from work... coolz.. actually kinda miss working life a bit!

oh dear.. these few days have been eating non stop.. guess it's time to play the mental game again.. later better go do some jogging.. hehehee.. alritey... (arghz.. mommy jus fed me with this cripsy meet) oohhz.. nice! hehehee.. okie okie.. my right tooth hurts a bit.. ouch!

Hey...

Erm... something must be very wrong with me nowadays... Haven't been typing a decent entry for ages... Perhaps is due to me working for the whole of last month... or is it because I have already lost the touch of "penning" down my thought? Arghz... I've got absolutely no idea man...

hmmmz... it's time that I change my blogskin... Yeah? hehehe.. This black one though seems cool and nice... but erm... it's far too simple for a complicated mind.. Well.. I love to think and when I do, I complicate stuff... hehehee...

Sighz... Lotsa of things happened to me recently. I am torturing not only myself, but the people around me suffer lots too! The person who stood by me... other than the Almighty Father... he's the one who gave me encouragement... Gave in to me... He's none other than Sylvester Swee... My boyfriend...

PMS is over and I am glad that it is gone... The dry throat is still there accompanied by the constant coughing... I am trying harder to be nicer to everyone... To my mom, dad, brother, friends and of course to him...

Hey, did I mention that I drove to Orchard and town area? And that was like really the first time that I ever drove there? Okie.. for those who do not know, I am a lousy driver who don't dare to drive down along Orchard.. Reason? So horrible! The traffic there is like.. ai yo.. headache ah... and must know your roads well if not you would not how to drive there man.. hehehe.. thanks to my map reader, Syl, who successfully directed me from one end of Orchard to the other... hehehe.. :) Thank u dar..

Hmmmz.. so exciting! Drill Committee Retreat! The very first one! hahaha... so cool..

hmmmz... I'm starting to wonder... and I wonder how and I wonder why... hehehe..

okie... Stop wandering in my thoughts!! hehehee.. errr.. hmmmz.. *scratching head*

Siblings...

Hey hey yo yo... I love you you love me...
I tot we're happy family...
But the fact that you said we are drifting apart...
Shows that we are not happy...

Hey hey yo yo... What to do? You tell me...
This conflict that we're having...
How to solve it? Sit down and have coffee me...
So that we can be happy family...

Hey hey yo yo...

Hungry

I am hungry now. Tot I could eat the chicken wrap that i bought from KFC after the shower.. but ended up they didn't give it to me and I paid for it! Stupid me... I am crying... I don't care what others think. I can't take it. I just want to cry.

Who knows how I feel?
At this moment of my life...
The stress that I have to face...
From school, friends, my and his family...

Who knows I am crying?
Deep within my heart...
The hurt I've gotten...
To see and hear things...
About me that's not me...

Who knows I am trying hard?
Do they know that I am?
Do they try their best too?
In whatever ways we all can?

Who knows the struggle that I have?
When I tried and failed each time...
The voice who kept me going...
But another who asked me to give up...
The torturing moments, I'm tired...
Spare me if you all can...

Thank You Lord for Your unconditional love...
I guess there's no one else in this world,
Who is willing to love like You do for me,
And without any stings attached!
Father, I need Your strength now...
To fight against this emotional war that's within my heart...
Help me Lord, if You can...
Or is this a test that You have set for me?

Updates...

Okie ladies n gentlemen... here's some updates abt my life...

I'm no longer working. Slacking at the moment. Ha. Erm... No income no $$$ to spend! How? No lah. Looking for a perm part time job. so ppl, if u have got lobang pls do tell me alrite?

NDP NE show was good... Tml there's going to be another one. Priscilla, thank you for your prayers! Ladies from NDP'05 marching contingent... jia you wor! Drink lots of water tonight. Rest well and don't stay up too late!

Hmmmz... Attended my best buddy's graduation yesterday. Feel so happy for her! Haha... She looks so pretty!

Today marks the 1st year anniversary I have with Syl. Yupz! :)

NDP

phew... Didn't faint yesterday... Thank God for providing my with the strength...

And to those who have given me support... Ppl like Amanda, Ashley, Jeannette, Angeline, etc... Thank you so much for your concern and care! hehehee.. :) hugz... n not forgetting my dar dar, who taught me how to relax while standing smartly and how to keep myself entertained throughout the whole parade. Last but not least... n I've thanked Him for His strength upon me! Thank you all...

I am very proud of the GB girls. They did well. Though sometimes they may get a bit cranky..(oopz..) but when it comes to parade, they have indeed did their best and bring glory not to our organisation but to the great and almighty Father in heaven. We're marching not for ourselves but for Him! Girls, keep it up!!!

Whenever the bus passed by national stadium, it reminded me of girls and sirs who took part in last year's NDP! It was indeed an awesome experience with them! Miss you all!!!! How have u all been ladies? hehehe.. For those who are having their major exams this year, please work hard and all the best to you... Will keep u all in prayers!

Hmmmz... Saw my dar dar march yesterday! So smart and cool!!!! hehehe.. Alrite.. I noe I shouldn't move much while standing on the parade ground.. but couldn't help but to glance at him while he was forming back to the contingent to march off! hehehe... So hunky... oopz..

Black out.

Stupid me! Have been standing on the parade ground for so long and yet I had to fall out cos I felt I was going to faint. Felt that I've let the whole contingent down. I mean if I was one of the girls at least it wasn't that bad. But I'm a contingent commander. Supposed to set a good example for the girls but I didn't.

Well... When the march past was carried on... I felt a sense of coldness on my face. And I didn't feel too good already. And out of sudden, I couldn't see! My world was turning darker and darker every second. Couldn't take it anymore, I squatted down. But I told myself I couldn't fall out at that moment! Cos everything was going to end soon! I stood up again and clench my fist tight. But eventually the world turned darker again. Arghz. Squatted down.. and stood up... squatted down and stood up. N finally I heard the transformation music. I quickly tried to get to my position. But the thing was I couldn't see where I was going!!! I tried to ask my girls for help but the next thing I know was that the medic was there to stretcher me out of the parade ground. I told them 'NO' and I was okie! but.. haiz! I still failed as a contingent commander! Shux. I asked God to help me but still I wasn't strong enough. Sorry Father. Sorry girls. Sorry mdms!

Once..

Upon a time, in the western area of Singapore, there lived a beautiful princess named Jasmine. Mind you, Jasmine may not look pretty in appearance wise, but she does bring out her inner beauty quite well. (uh hem) Back to her story... She has a kind and simple minded mother, a naggy but the greatest father, and a good old brother... Together they live in a 2 level HDB flat. Those were the days that she had a beautiful childhood. Let see, where shall we start about her life as a young kid. Her brother used to follow her anywhere she went, be it in the house or outside the corridor playing. Until one fine sunny day, Jasmine could not take it and told her brother off. However, this did not deter his brother from following her. Not that she does not like her brother but well... Anyway, they did have an enjoyable childhood playing together. Hmmz...

enuff of me crapping. Ha. Time flies n now I am grown up lady. Back to the reality! WAKE UP!

Fate, what a word...
That's used when 2 person are together...
Do I believe in fate?
Yes I do...

Sweet little pumpkin...

My pumpkin is very sweet. He helped me buy something. hahaa.. Thanks dar!

Gu Dan

Alone. Spending quality time with absolutely no one except yourself is very important. At least it's time for you to relfect on your life so far. I haven't been spending time alone ever starting of the year. I'm either busy with studies if not work or friends. Hardly at home.

The only time that I was alone, was last like Friday? Went to Esplanade on my own. Sat there alone with no one else except me and only strangers walking past me. The scent of the sea makes me feel so relieved, of the stress and saddness that was inside me. Hot tears rolled down on my cheeks.

And now, I'm holding back my tears. You can only hear sniffing. Can't help but to feel that way. PMS is haunting me. What to do? Do anyone of you really understand what I am going through? You all don't! Nobody does, I guess.

Just want to hide myself under the blanket after a cup of hot Milo. To make me feel contended.

The office is filled with laughter. I'm sitting here alone feeling tired.

Missing Him...

Missing God.

Haven't been a good child recently. Haven't gone for a church for quite a while. I miss telling Him how much I love Him. I miss singing praise and giving thanks to Him. I miss His confort, His big and warm hands around me. I miss the times that I play guitar for Him. I miss every of my brothers and sisters who I know. I miss Him.

God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good. The great and almighty God is always so good to me. Thank You Father for not forsaking me. Thank You Lord. Thank You for everything that You have done for me. Sacrificed Jesus, Your only son for us. Thank You for helping me and answering my prayers and needs. Thank You for your unconditional love. Thank You for every small little things.

Claudia McCants

Somtimes life leads you in a new direction.
And even when you don't feel prepared,
or when you don't want to change,
you are forced to start over.
Life is like that... there are no guarantees.
It make you feel scared or anxious or sad.

But after you've shed your last tear~
just when you think everything
is out of your hands~
you take a deep breath
and finally realize that you have complete control.

Survival is about reclaiming your "self".
It is about learning to love who you are.
It is about making wise choices, setting goals,
and finding out what really makes you happy.
It is about rediscovering those things you always wanted to do.

Happiness is something that
has to come from within.
Nobody can provide it for you.

You are beautilful, caring,
wonderful person.
You are worthy of all good things.
I know life is hard right now,
but please know that
I am always here for you.

This is a new beginning!
I can't wait to see what you do!

Jasmine to Sylvester...

Twisted!

Clumsy me.. Twisted my leg last Friday when I was on my way back home. Didn't see the hole in the grass. So I guess you know what happen next... Went to see a sinseh only yesterday... Cos I noe it can be dragged anymore if not won't heal so fast. yup yup...

Now in office... haiz.

Depressed

Depressed is the word that I'm using for myself today. I cried. Morning till noon till evening till night. Does anyone care? No! Cos I deserved it I guess. Good things don't come together... But bad things will. I am going crazy. I feel like escaping. Perhaps a hole in the earth seems quite like a hiding place.

I want to cover myself. With anything. I am tired. I am sad. I am depressed. I am stressed. I am crying again. Shux! I want someone to cuddle up with me and tell me that it is alright at least he/she is still around. I know... God is there. I talked to Him last night. It was quite a nice conversation. Thank you Lord for comforting me.

Alone. I don't wish to be alone. I am scared of being alone. I just need someone to be with me.

I am tired. Tired of breathing, walking, eating, sleeping. Tired of this world. A world that seems dark and cold.

xiang re guo shang de ma yi

hahaha... it's a chinese errrr.. idiom isit? Dunch noe... hahaha.. anyway it's describing the busy-ness that a ant will be when it's on the hot plate. hahaha... Yup! Busy yesterday and today! alrite... not say very busy but... it was quite time consuming! haha...

Yesterday was my first day at Alsco... A company that deals with washroom hygiene service, dustmats, workwear and linen... It was fun working with my sec sch friend too! hahaha... none other than Claudia~ cool... :)

~Fairy tales~

Fairy tales are so beautiful and most of them have happy endings... Near to prefection... I believe fairy tales do exist, in terms of happy endings... Prefection? It's hard to find in the reality. Ha.

No one is perfect in this world... Except for one... God Himself... Our Creator... Our Saviour... Our Lord... I now know what is unconditional love is all about. You love that person but don't expect anything from him/her in return. It is difficult. Very hard. Who can? Maybe you could but always? I wouldn't think so. I miss God very much. Has been a long time since I told Him that I love Him. Sorry Father.

Fairy tales... To have one in life is a blessing... To have it prefect and have a happy ending is a miracle. Don't impose on others if you can't accomplish them yourself. Tell your loved ones before it is too late.

Cool! Black...

hehehe... trying to see if I can make my blog look similar to dar dar's one! I think his blog is really cool.. With only white and orange as the colour for the wordings and black as the background! hehehe.. totally cool! hehehehe...

In my blog, I'll write about my views and opinions about any issues regard the world! Hmmmz.. for today shall spare u peeps reading boring stuff that I typed! hahaha.. well.. let see... what else can I crap in here!? hmmmz..

oh yah.. I'll be starting work tomorrow. Feels kinda excited! hahahaha! Can't keep that excitement in me man! Going shopping later on... By myself... Hope to buy a new pair of ladies footwear! Errr.. what am I saying? Of course ladies one lah... if not I wear guys one meh? hahaha.. sha dan!

hmmmz.. sianz! Feeling sleepy le... yawnz...

Finally!

Hey peeps... Finally found a job through my sec sch friends... All thanks to May and Claudia for helping me in finding this job! Carinne, I'm also helping you to keep a lookout if you haven't found one yet! It's admin assistant... Assisting non other than Claudia lor! hahaha.. Feels kinda cool... cos it's my first time working in the office.. okie.. you can laugh all you want! Previously I worked as a childcare assisstant! But I'll miss the kids!

hmmmz... Kids! They should be having their holidays now! WoW... still remember when I was schooling, hols was like heaven to us! With lotsa time to play, sleep, watch cartoons! hahaha... of course there would be hols assignments, which we would normally complete them say the last week of the month! And if we can't finish them on time, I would start crying! ha! That's me! Still a crybaby though! hehehe... Not much changes after growing up...

NDP practice was good... Didn't manage to find dar in his contingent! Everyone is wearing the same uniform, cap, and with the same skin colour! How to look for him leh!? Though I tried hard to squint my eyes but my old contacts lenses didn't allow me to see them clearely... But I noticed something... SFI.. Singapore Food Industry which serves food for the army are wasting resources! They have used to many plastics bags. Imagine a plastic bag comes with a packet of food... So how many participants and helpers in the NDP would be how much rubbish we have produced! And the worst thing, we're all not environmental friendly by using so many plastic stuff! They are non biodegradable! oh man... I can actually still remember all these facts!? Yucks!

~ Some tots ~

Oh shux... just now I do remember what I wanna blog about... But my mind is blank now.. haha.. Can't think of anything to type here... Hmmmz...

Besides searching for a job online, tidy my room, go out to 'la' kopi, go for meetings, ndp practices.. There aren't much stuff for me to do... Life is really interesting kind of thing... Hey... Think I kinda remember what I wan to blog about...

Life... We make many decisions in our life. From deciding what time to wake up in the morning, what to eat for breakfast, what to wear, what form of transport to take to work, etc... So many many many small little decisions... We didn't realise as deciding has already become our life! ha. Each time you make a decision, there may be a sacrifice made. Like, if you want to save money, you got to wake up early and take public transport but you have to wake up earlier than usual.

Sometimes, I do really want to live my life to fullest! Make use of every little time I have to do things that I want and not succumbing to temptations and the sins in the world. For example, I can choose to forgo some of my sleep in the morning and go for a morning jog or to be lazy and sleep late. :o) Even now, I can choose not to have an entry in my blog and do something else that's more important. Errr.. okie.. for now I think writing down my ideas is kinda important.. Hehe... alrite alrite... excuses?

hmmz... Past, Now and Future... Our 'Now' would become our past... and our 'Future' may become our 'Now'... Don't you think it's so... well.. I can't seem to find any words... or rather there are so many mixed feelings about life! ha. Life... I am really grateful that God has given me a chance to live on each day. But one day, sometime later in my life, I will grow old and fade away from this world. A world that is full of temptations and sins... And hopefully I will be with the Lord, peacefully in the heaven... Sounds good to me...

ooOOooo.. what's the matter with me? ha. Getting hyped typing about life... Oopz. Sorry dudes! Am I boring all of ya!? Hopefully... am.... NOT! hahaha... K! I am sacrifing typing lesser words to go decide what I want to do now! :)