Oppz.

I started typing at 9.47am. The time shows otherwise. Haa. Was viewing other people's profiles on the Friendster. Friends whom I have not seen for donkey years have all changed so much. Hey, by the way, I got to find lots of my primary schoolmates through Friendster. *Thumbs up*

Had and enjoyable day on the 30th October 2005. Erm... Alright, it was yesterday. Haa. Uncle Matthew and Auntie Karen came over to Bester's house with their kids to spend their afternoon with us. Lots of laughter and joy...We played Big2 and Bester kept losing! (Hey, who can win with those lousy cards?) Haa. But the kids seem a bit bored. Perhaps I have not mingled around with the kids back at the montessori for long hence not knowing how to humor the two young gals. They are much closer to Sebastian and Charmaine and Owl (referring to Joshua, Bester's cousin.) Hee. Went swimming in the evening. I wore my two piece swimming suit for the first time to a swimming pool! Haa. Feel kinda naked and awkward. Nevertheless, I tried to swim as many laps as I can with the "congested" pool.

Haa. Here comes the best part. We had chilli and pepper crabs (again, yeah. Had it the night before) for dinner! Thank you Uncle Cogan for the treat! By the way, now I realised where all my extra 4kg of fats comes from. Haa. Have been always eating good food with Bester's family! Oh mine. Got to exercise more determination in rejecting the feast placed on the dining table.

My life now? Haa. Sigh. Wake up in the morning - Wash up - Do sit ups and push ups - Use the internet (Read blog, Update Friendster and my blog, Check emails.) - Read the bible - Study... So on and forth. Sigh. No life? Nahz! Would be delighted to receive my results next year September if I keep up with the consistent work. I don't believe that I am of low IQ. Haa. Perhaps I am? Sigh.

Jenny must be feeling quite happy now. Such a long blog for her to read during her night shift. Haa. Hey gal, don't tire yourself out alright? Missing you, wen, carinne, and ying!

Times up. It is 10:01am.

[L][i][F][e]

Met up with Carinne, Jenny, and Jing Wen last Thursday evening at Bukit Panjang Plaza. Wow. It has been like donkey weeks since we last met. Haa. Miss them dearly. Buddies are always buddies. They just know you inside out. Awww... Simply love them all...

Here's a glimpse of my schedule for the rest of the year...

HRM test on topics 1-3: Next Wednesday, 2 Nov 2005
PBF test on topics 4-5: Tuesday, 8 Nov 2005
POA assignment due on Saturday, 12 Nov 2005
Genting/KL trip: 13 - 17 Nov 2005
Little Wonders Montessori Concert: Friday, 25 Nov 2005
Brother's birthday: Thursday, 15 Dec 2005
Snow City Trip: Friday, 16 Dec 2005
Christmas Dinner at Clark Quay: Friday, 23 Dec 2005
Cousine Jasmine's Wedding: Saturday, 23 Dec 2005
Christmas Eve with Sylvester: Saturday, 24 Dec 2005

Target: Finish revising for all subjects by end of 2005.
Lots of reading up.. Lots of revision... Lots of things to do.. Sigh.

Urge.

Haa.. Urge to blog right now! It's tea break right now! Yeah. I am in school. Am grouchy. Forgotten to bring my contact lenses and makeup kit. Argh. Sigh.

I do not know if it is an excuse. But I feel that the devil has been working in me for the past few months that I have not been communicating with God. Hot tempered, non-smiley faces..etc.. Have made a couple of people unhappy lately.

Have been praying for a new life again and I thank God for His patience and love for me that I will be able to lead a rightful life again! Am more cheerful now, able to open up more to people and trying to treat everyone better in whatever ways I can! All these to be done not with my own strength but His!

God will make a way.. When there seems to be no way...

Was watching the chinese version of "True Courage". Learnt this again, that God will always there to pave the path for you when you think that you've already reached the end of the road. Indeed, God is great and almight.

I simply love God. Amen.

God's words..

His words, so true and sweet. Who can claim He's God except He Himself? Love Him with all my heart. He's my Lord, my saviour, my planner. He made me realise certain things that I have not known before. He can also make me lose things that I have if I don't treasure them. I am afraid of Him as much as I love Him.

Relationship. An area that I am weak in. Communication is such a basic rule in a relationship and I fail to understand. Not once but many times. I admit I am a loser becaused I fail to change even after so many times of reminders that Bester gave me. I can talk so much with my friends and yet I can't share enough with him. "You can be a friend to anyone, but you can't share your life with someone." That really hit me. Sharing my life... That is what it is all about in a relationship. And I failed to see that.

Lord, I put my life into Your hands, again. Help me with Your guidance and strength and Your wisdom. My life, my relationships with people, my school work... I lift them all up to you. Clense me and those evil thoughts that is in my heart. Make me new again. I want to be a new child once again. Lord, I can feel Your arms around me. I feel so comforted. Thank You Father. Thank you so much. You didn't forsake me, I know. Thank You. Amen.

To all my friends: Treasure and cherish whatever things that are in your life now. Do not regret after losing them. It will be too late then..

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

Dar bought this book last night. Read a few paragraphs from it and feel that it makes lots of sense as in why couples quarrel and have conflicts every now and then. We are from different worlds and that, explains our differences. In a relationship, we tend to forget this fact thus not respecting each other's differences. *Thumbs up for this book* Ling is still reading. Of course it will be my turn next to catch up with this book.

Hey, to all people who are in love outta: Borrow the book from me if you want! *Smile* But... Wait till I finish reading it, ok? Ok?

Had a wonderful time with Bester's family last night. (Just rememberd! Got to call home to inform my parents that I am safe in this world! Don't want them to worry for me!) Had dinner at this coffeeshop beside the cinema at AMK central. Had ban mian and otak and century egg! Based on this amount of food that I consume, guess most of you would have realised that I am gaining weight?! Yes!! From 50kg to 53.5kg! Shux! Gonna start my exercise regime, soon!? haa. Enuff of me complaining about my weight. Anyway, who cares? haa. After the meal, we went NTUC to buy some groceries. Had only 15 minutes to do the shopping before it closed!

Mobile phones. Everyone is changing their phones recently. Ha. Hui got a new phone from her boss (lucky her!). Sebastian has got a new phone. Auntie Maria has got Nokia 6101, the one which I felt like buying. And my brother got this Motorala Razr V3. Haa. Bester is comtemplating of getting a Panasonic SA-6. *tom yam aroma floating in the air* (oopz. haa. Uncle Cogan is cooking tom yam soup! Yummy!)

Here's the picture of the phone I wanna buy! Motorola Razr V3 Hotpink version!. It's not out in the market yet! Doesn't it look cool, sleek, etc but girlish at the same time?! Haa. I think it's nice! Just need the patience to get the phone. And I will purchase it if it doesn't come with a too pricey tag. (Woke up like 2 hrs ago and I haven't brushed my teeth!) Hee. Sounds disgusting huh? Thank God that you guys are reading my blog and not talking to me!


Having late nights nowadays. Revising my work, keeping dar accompany, cleaning his room, watching late nite shows, etc. Pimples popping out lately. "Big Aunty" came for a visit. haa. *Phew* It has been quite a busy week with so much things to do and to accomplish. Proud to say that I have finished reading up on my marketing notes! Haa. Finished half of my Economics assignment. 3 tests coming up. One on the next week, and 2 on the following week. Marketing assignment is due next Friday! Sigh. "Stressed up?" you may ask. Yeah. I am. Kind of. Had already set a goal that I want to finish revising those that I have learnt in year 2005 by 31st December.

Won't want to hug the Buddha's leg at the last minute. That won't do me good. Sigh.

Missing my friends right now. Jenny, Wen, Carinne and Ying: I miss you gals lots! Can't wait to meet you people this coming Thursday!

Ting, Hui, Juan: Miss ya gals too. And if you gals are reading my blog, here's what I wanna say. Ting ah, don't think too much of relationship stuff le! Cheer up. Hui, don't tire yourself out during work k? Juan, good luck for your upcoming examinations.

Times up! Church.. Blood donation.. Here I come!

Mugging...

Exams coming really soon.. Time passes even faster than I expected. Sigh. Well, seriously I'm not utilising my time fully! Wasting quite a bit of precious time say rite now.. should be studying rite? Ha. So what am I doing here, typing away?

No idea. Sigh.

Will start reading up in a while then. Sigh.

Wrinkles? R they showing up on my face soon? Guess so... Sigh...

Extra Extra...

Feeling extremely down and irritable for the past week. PMS is haunting me again. It's one of the worst experiences that I ever had. Especially the case for this morning... I was on the verge of crying.. Feeling tired and weak and sick! Thoughts of skipping school soon filled up my mind. But I brushed them off thinking how much I'll have to catch up if I miss those lessons..

Yes. I'm stuck in the school. Do I sound grouchy? I am! School is sucky! Every student may agree with this statement. Notice I used "may" that's because there are some who actually love to study and be in school! "Feaks".. word that can use on them! Seems like a personal attack.. Apologise for that aloofness in me..

Talking about attitude, mine sucks! I have got attitude problem. There's something wrong up there in my brain! Wires connected wrongly, impulses sent to the wrong place..etc. It's a big mess! Hey ppl... I'm shouting here!!! I feel terrible. Argueing with ppl with my senseless nonsesne! I sincerely apologise to those I have offended!

I am still grouchy, very indeed! Sigh. (Sulking...)

Updates:
1) Lagging behind my schedule in my studies. Seems as if it's impossible to catch up with my reading up and revision with my lecturers' pace!
2) Communication problem with the people around me...
3) Stress. Comes mainly from school...
4) Took up tuition assignment. At lost on how to help the kid.
5) Not living a healthy lifestyle... Deep fried food, soft drinks, tidbits... Made me put on so much weight.
6) Missing all my friends.. They all seem so busy with their stuff.. Jus like me..
7) Has been a lousy girlfriend.. daughter... student!
9) Life? Many goals to attain but will I be able to achieve them?

Sigh.

This long blog is especially for Jenny who has to work night shift for whole of this month. Touched? *Grin* Tag me k? Email me too! Will reply yours shortly.

To Bester dar, sorry for my moodswings and being so argumentative... and insensitive..

Stopped typing right now. Sigh.

I'm singing in the rain...

haaa.. It's not that I risk catching a flu and sing in the rain.. Just saying that it's raining now! haaa... I limp when I walk.. (Lamer..)

(snorez...snorez..) haaa... Can hear my little piglet pigging away..

Nothing much to do but catching up on my studies.. Have been exceptionally slacking for da whole of this week.. Yeah.. heee.. hey... better get going before my eyes are fixed on the computer and I'll waste my time away, again! :)

>.<

(tick tick tick tick) can hear the faint ticking sound from my watch as I'm typing away. Feeling tired, stressed and bored. Bester said he's not meeting me. Feeling disappointed and sad. He didn't say anything else but except to call me tonight.

Feeling lost and nothing to do.. Well of course I do have things to do like studying and revising for my work. Haiz.. oh well..

Death...

Just read of my friend's blog.. Didn't know that her had passed away a mth ago. I kind of know how it felt when your dearest ppl ard aren't with you anymore now and in the future. (Sorry gal.. hope you're feeling much better now.)

I'm afriad too.. That one day my parents will pass away. I depend on them a lot actually. They are the ones who supported me all the way ever since I was a baby. They are in their 60s already. We are so emotionally attached and if that day comes, think I'll cry a lot..

I love them.. dearly!

What's with me?

Can anyone understand me as much as God does? If fact He knows everything cos He is the one who created me!

I'm a person with strong personalities. Stubborn.. always stick to my principles! And there are just certain things which I can't shurg off.. This is bad.. especially when the situation involves my love ones! Sometimes, they are understanding enuff to bear with my nonsense.. but there are times that they just can't stand my da xiao jie pi qi! Got to apologise to many of my friends.. especially to Bester.. da one who kenna da stupid things but always giving in to me.. Sorry dear..
He has been unhappy lately because I wasn't nice to him. It's all my fault.

Life.. What is it all about? The purpose? When will God reveal to me His purpose for me to come to this world. I'll be praying hard everyday. I need His strength to help me go thru my life each day. I'm weak but He is strong.

Striving to become a better student, child, sister, friend n wife-to-be.. Hopefully one day, when i take up all these roles, I'll be able to become a better person..

Wasting of time..

Haiz.. that's what I'm doing now! Reached home at about 8am but haven't even started studying! Haven't done a lot of reading up over the weekend! Practically I've been slacking! That's terrible! Exams is jus like 8 mths away.. and I've to mange 6 units at a time! Stress.. I'm stressed up!

Bester was quite upset recently.. Well, guess it's all my fault for being insensitive to his feelings. (I'm very sorry dar..) I have learnt a lot through all these mths of our relationship. You taught me to be a better person. We can chat about anything.. though sometimes we may get into arguements! haa.. We gave each other emotional support.. Just want to tell you that I appreciated you a lot.. Thank you Syl..

Okie.. I promise in another 10 mins and I'll be gone alrite?

(Lucky the playful one ran out last nite to go play with other dogs!)

Still studying and revising..

When will I be able to get back on track again? Never! It seems like I'm always behind my schedule! It's hard.. really hard!